Isla had called, sure. She was worried and upset. Dom made it perfectly clear that he wanted her to spend the holidays with her family. They were kind. They were compassionate. They cared. They were everything Dom's father couldn't, wouldn't, and did not want to be.
They invited him over, of course. But Dom couldn't accept their invitation. The Burkes offering him to spend the holidays with them was a saccharine gesture. All things considered, the dark grip of this depression had him believing that his presence would have been a burden; or at the very least would have brought down the mood.
The day after Christmas, Dom sat in his new apartment surrounded by the boxes that the rest of Entourage had helped him move. He stared at a television screen with nothing on it. He kept trying to drink from a glass that he himself had emptied five minutes prior.
What he had, was a Strife Delivery shirt, blue jeans, and a list of clients that would soon be needing him. He'd help haul away the pine trees that were once decorated and revered, that now, twenty-four hours later, little more to these people than cumbersome garbage that they couldn't be bothered to throw away on their own.
Oh, what a difference a day makes.
It wasn't a long enough or complicated list. In his mind, there was no excuse to call Isla in other than to steal her presence away from others for a while. Had he been honest with himself, he would have known that simply wanting her around was good enough.
But Dom needed to punish himself. Dom needed to feel like his father was right. Or else everything his father said about him being 'the active destroyer of all he worked so hard to build' would be a flat-out lie.
Which might hurt even more.
There wasn't enough cheap whiskey in the world to drown out the taste of failure. Going into Ultimate Carnage 6, Dom had one goal in mind and he couldn't even achieve that. He wanted to win the CW tag team championships with his partner Sebastian Hawke so badly, but in truth he wanted Team Rock Lobster to lose just a tiny bit more.
...
He knew that Axton and Willis had been celebrating. He had heard through the magic of social media that Ax had places to go and people to swap spit with, both for Christmas and presumably, for New Years' as well. 2020 was a year that Axton Gunn came into the game, immediately stuck his foot in his mouth, and somehow still ended the year looking and feeling like a king.
It wasn't fair.
Axton Gunn, who at one point drew the ire of almost everyone backstage, not for the person he is but for all of the thoughtless, ignorant comments that once spilled out of his mouth.
He's the one with friends. He's the one with a title. He's the one who gets to carry on the Entourage. He's the one with so much fame, money, and power that he gets to do whatever he wants without a fuck to give. He's the one without a care in the entire world.
Dom hurled the drinking glass across the apartment. Listened to it shatter on impact against the wall.
"If the words redemption or payback even dare come out of your mouth, Axton, then I swear to God."
The Carnage Arena's empty, as it had been for quite some time. Dom's new place of employment had taken a much-needed break for the holidays. There's at least one person, however, that's thankful they're over with.
Dom's sitting in one of the back rows, a good distance away from the ring. He's in casual workout clothes soiled with a good bit of sweat. It was important to come in and spend some time knocking the rust off, which he did in the building's gym.
"I honestly hope you choke on it before you ever dare spit it out. Because it's real high on the list of things I don't want to hear from you right now. As far as starting off the new year with you in the very first match of Carnage's return, I don't want to hear how I wronged you. No, you don't get to say that to me anymore, alright? Furthermore, this treating me like a child bullshit, that shit's over. You can dictate to your cronies all you want. I'm sure as a big rockstar and now as a tag-team champion that shit comes all-too-easy anymore. If you wanted to sit down and talk, you could have asked, but you didn't. So in my book, you're done talking."
Dom squirts a bit of water into his mouth. He swirls it around and spits the excess down on the concrete between his feet.
"There's no secret or surprise here. You can't stand being upstaged. When you were out touring the country with your band, you had to be the center of attention. You're the lead singer, bro. You're the center stage. I should have known right away that the Entourage was always going to be your group. I feel stupid, I honestly do, and ashamed that I ever fell for the line that we were all equals. Equal in what regard? Equal in what aspect? How could Seb and I honestly expect to be equal with you in your own mind? No, for a brief second or two, you decided that you'd go along for the ride and see how the Entourage played out."
Dom scoffs as he peers over into the camera.
"But the moment things happened that you disagreed with- hey look, even I know dealing with C$J is shady as shit. But when did you come to us to ask Seb and I about how we might feel with dealing with Jon Willis? Hmm? That's the point I'm trying to get at here, Ax. Even though, deep down inside, I know you think you had my best interest at heart. I know that you don't. I know, as far as you go, as far as your life goes, we're all just side-characters in the Axton Gunn show. Even if I am wrong about how I tried to better myself, in your mind, I was already wrong for trying to in the first place. Which is, pretty damn disappointing as far as friendships are concerned."
Dom spits on the ground again, as if actively trying to get the bad taste out.
"And trust me, I don't like where it's gotten to. Do you even understand? Could you? Do I really strike you as the type of person who wanted to lose a friend? Do I look like I can afford to? By all means, let me explain to you that the only reason I'm still working here is because Carnage couldn't afford to fire me after losing the pieces of the roster that they would have rather kept. That's called desperation, Ax. Here, in 2021, I'm a desperate man. So if you want to waltz into Havoc thinking that you're gonna drop the hammer on me, I've got a superkick with your name on it."
Dom stands up from his chair, knocking it over in his haste. He walks right up to the camera and points into it.
"And that goes for the rest of the back, too. I said that I'm going to do things differently this year, and if you think that that spells out trouble for you, then by all means. If the shoe fits, right? No, what I meant was the days of earning these opportunities only to see them spoil are officially over. I'm not asking to be a Carnage Wrestling champion. I'm not asking for legitimacy. No, I'm taking what I want. Those face-painted clowns that left at the first sign they'd never reach the top of our mountain... that's not who I am. I'm not a hateful or spiteful person, but fuck with me and find what levels of ruthlessness and aggression I can bring. The only thing that I hate is that Sebastian is going to have to find out first hand that I'm playing to win now. I'm not playing this game trying not to lose."
Dom turns and faces the ring.
"Because why not? I've already lost everything, and for what? Because of some things that I said? Because I didn't agree with my friend? Because I accepted a nicer contract and a brand new truck? No Ax, don't talk to me about redemption or payback because last year you got to get everything that you ever wanted. This year, it's my turn. I promise you this. And on that promise, I will deliver."
Post by Axton Gunn on Jan 15, 2021 15:21:10 GMT -5
The Legion looks in on a dimly lit room; it’s difficult to see anything past the figure sitting on the sofa directly center, illuminated in a cold, narrow light. The cast of it makes the figure’s warm meadowgreen eyes appear frosted, like frost biting away at the life of once-thriving foliage. Axton Gunn, still and stony, stares into the lens with an acoustic guitar settled over his thighs; his hands are the only things moving, slowly and methodically tuning the instrument with the occasional off-putting, unsettling twang in the otherwise piercing quiet. The body of the guitar has been painted with the words “Natural Born Thrillers”; the ‘S’ at the end has been angrily scribbled out in red.
“Hey Dom.” Twang.
“Been thinking a lot about what you said at the end of last year… You sure had a lot to say. Suddenly. After deflecting for weeks every time I tried to touch base with you.”
Axton sighs through his nose, irritated.
“You know what? I really tried. I tried to be there for you. I offered my help again and again and again. When you needed a ticket through the doors of Carnage, I got it for you. When you needed money, I offered. When you needed friends, I followed you out of this shit city all the way to butt-fuck nowhere to wrestle in a backyard with you. When you were having a hard time, I brought drinks and company and a listening ear. You think I’m a selfish prick, I know… so tell me, buddy. What about any of that was about me? In what possible fucking way could I have benefitted, personally, from going out of my comfort zone and spending my own time and energy to make sure you were gonna keep your head above water?”
Twinge. Wrrrr…
“I didn’t have to do any of that. I’m a fucking rockstar. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. I’m the hottest shit in LA, and in Baltimore they love me, too. I could fill every goddamn seat in the Carnage Arena just by throwing a concert. Instead, I decided I wanted to be better… I wanted to work on being a better person. A better partner. A better friend. It was awful, trying to shake those old preconceptions--all these people who thought they knew me and thought I wouldn’t change. When I found you and Sebastian, I thought I’d finally found people who would be able to see me as I was, and not who I’d been. Sebby? He sees that. He’s never doubted me. You, though? I was wrong about you.”
The musician stops plucking the string he’s working on, his cold eyes on the writing scrawled on the body of the guitar.
“You’re an asshole, Dominick.”
Axton drags his painted fingernails through the paint, leaving scratches in the dry black.
“You’re no different from the people who rejected me… the people who called me ‘fake’ when I first came here. The people who judged me based on my first actions under the Legion’s eyes, and stopped paying attention after that. It’s so fucking disappointing. All this time I thought you would have my back--that we’d make a good team, that we could bring down the house with a show. But you got stuck on my old mistakes and you won’t let me move past them. You refuse to let me get better. You only want to see the stagnant picture of the past and you’re too damn stubborn to live in the present.”
He looks up, those cold eyes glazed with rage and hurt.
“You’re right, I came here to settle things with an Ex. I know that was wrong. I know I fucked up--you don’t have to tell me. Don’t act like I’m pretending what I did was ok, because it’s not. But you’re wrong if you thought the only reason I approached you for an extra set of fists in that fight. For a guy so stuck on his pride, you sure don’t give yourself enough credit. Then again, you’re so stuck on your pride that it actually makes you fucking stupid.”
He sneers, starting to tune another string.
“You’re so proud that you won’t accept a friend’s money; you’d rather take it from a skeevy CEO that everybody hates, while both of your stablemates protest. You’re so proud that you think the person hurting Sebastian is me--looks more to me like I’m the one who’s been trying to make good while you kick cans around blaming me for all your problems, making him miserable. You’re so proud that instead of talking to me on one of the several occasions I’ve invited it, you bottle it all up, and shit all over me on public TV. And I’m the one who’s branded as immature. You’re so proud that you think the only reason our tag team got back-burnered is because I wanted it to--couldn’t possibly be because we got booked differently, which I have no control over, dipshit. It would have to be because I lost interest in you, right? Because you’re the only person in my life I could bond with.”
Axton’s hand tightens on the neck of the guitar, white-knuckled.
“That’s where you crossed the line, by the way. You’re just like the rest of them, calling me ‘fake’. Saying I don’t really love Jon. Saying I’m a flake for how I went back to Silvio. Cool how you’re suddenly an expert on love when you can’t even look Isla in the face and ask her out for a fucking coffee, you wet towel coward.”
Twing.
“I hate that more than anything… people calling me fake. Shallow. Calling me a liar. See I actually have a very strict self-standard, Dom. One--I never throw the first neg. Everybody’s a friend until they’re not… if somebody comes at me, I hit back. But never first. Go ahead, look back at the last few months, and try to find one time I ever ‘started it’.” Air quotes. “You won’t find anything. Two--honesty. If I like you, I’ll say as much. I’ll show as much. If I don’t? You’ll know, bitch. That’s one thing you can count on--I’ll never lie about my opinion on you. Remember when I called you an asshole a few minutes ago? Meant it. I used to trust you--I used to love you. Fuck, if you weren’t straight I’d’ve already hit on you a dozen times. But it turns out the person I thought I cared about was a flat lie--he was hiding his real face from me this whole time.”
Wrrrr. Wring.
Scowling, Axton’s hands stop, gripping the instrument. He looks into the camera, a cold fire of rage behind that green.
“I worked my ass off to get better. To become a better person... a better partner... a better friend. I opened up. I let people in, I let people help me... And my work paid off. I think you're mad about it, buddy. You better quit being too proud to do the same... Or you're gonna eat shit.”
Axton stands up--and swings the guitar, shattering it against the coffee table. The camera shakes and falls, looking up at the ceiling before the splintered instrument comes down on it and inks the scene to black.