Ultimate Carnage 6 Results

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Johnny Vegas: New Orleans would be a nice change of pace. Get me some bourbon, see me some titties, the whole nine yards!

Terra Skye: Fantastic Analysis as always, Johnny. Let's get to our first championship bout of the evening. Adrienne Levi defends her Baltimore City title against the returning Lord Raab.

Johnny Vegas: My favorite masked incel!

Terra Skye: Don't let that guy hear you say that. Lord Raab is one of the most violent men Carnage Wrestling has seen and C$J has decided to reward that bloodlust with a championship match tonight.

Kelly Carmichael: The following match is for the Baltimore City Championship and is a BED OF THORNS match!

Monster by Skillet plays over the sound system.

Kelly Carmichael: First, the challenger, hailing from Cologne, Germany, weighing in at 250 pounds, here is the MASKED GERMAN MONSTER, LORD MARKUS RAAB!!!

Lord Raab comes out through the curtain wearing his red and black wrestling trousers.They have his nickname The Masked German Monster on the front of them with Monster Energy logos on the side of his trousers. As well as black gloves on both of his hands and wears a black and red stripy masks He ignores the fans as he goes up the stairs. He has a very large burlap slung over his shoulder and he tosses it over the top rope into the ring.

Terra Skye: I gotta feeling what that sack contains. We were missing that ... component.

Boy: Shinies!!

Johnny Vegas: I hope Raab feeds them to Adrienne by the handful. I'm so sick of her.

Terra Skye: I don't think Raab is above doing such a thing if it secures him his first solo championship in Carnage.

The house lights dimmed as Waterproof Blonde’s lead singer Rachel Hagen declared, “Inside me a light was turned on, then I was alive!!” Right at that instant, the lights flashed back on in a purple hue as Just Close Your Eyes went into its electric chorus.

Kelly Carmichael: And now the champion, wow residing in Baltimore, Maryland, weighing in 135 pounds, the Baltimore City Champion, Adrienne Levi!

Grinning at the announcement, Adrienne scanned the crowd before making her way down to the ring. Bumping fists with any fans in the ringside area, she approached the ringside area. Scanning the crowd, she picks out a little girl in the crowd. Kneeling in front of her, Adrienne shares some quiet words with her and presses a purple enamel logo pin into her palm. She smiles warmly before turning to enter the ring.

Terra Skye: We've gotta talk about what Adrienne is wearing. Her jumpsuit? It's layered in duct tape. She has huge goggles on.

Johnny Vegas: She looks like a moron.

Terra Skye: There's nothing in the rules against protecting yourself.

Lord Raab is not amused.

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Cut backstage where Catalina Cortes prepares for her tag team title match, possibly with a partner, possibly all by herself. For this event, she is dressed in pink and white, her wrestling attire an homage to Gwenpool. She has become Catpool, a derivative of a derivative. Peering through the pink lenses of her goggles, she addresses the camera with uncomfortable closeness.

Catalina Cortes: I know what you’re thinking… Catalina Cortes, the greatest half of the greatest tag team champions in Carnage Wrestling history looks ready to win a triple threat ladder match all by herself. Did Christopher Marlowe fly back to his home planet? Has Catalina constructed a new partner from straw and sewn together luchador masks? What’s the game plan for the Kit-Kat Connection? Or is it just the Cat Connection now?

Cat shrugs slowly, revealing that she has a costume katana in each hand.

Catalina Cortes: I’ll be real with you. I dunno. In my heart of hearts, I hope Carnage’s Poet Laureate is going to swoop in at the last minute to save the day and our belts. I trust Marlowe with my life, my career and our title reign, but I’d be lying if I said that trust wasn’t being just a teensy bit tested right now. Which is why I’m solo cosplaying tonight. I already had to explain bidets to Marlowe. There’s no way I can explain Gwenpool.

She sighs a sigh of realness.

Catalina Cortes: And to be doubly real with you, this isn’t just a costume. If Marlowe doesn’t show up and we lose the belts because we were down a person, I am one-hundred percent going into vigilante mode and hunting him down. I don’t give a frick if it’s across time and space. I will hunt him. I will find him. And I will kick him in the shin as hard as I can. Is this the end of the Kit-Kat Connection and the beginning of an exciting new chapter in the life of Catpool?

Again, she shrugs, this time more sullenly.

Catalina Cortes: Shrug emoji. Enjoy the drama, bitches. Mama’s gotta go chop up some influencers.

She crosses her katanas once, then twice, as the scene fades.

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Johnny Vegas: If that fuck doesn't show, I'm gonna find him myself!

Boy: GRAVY!

Terra Skye: I don't think you'll have the chance, Johnny. But it is odd that Christopher Marlowe has been absent.. I hope he's okay.

Johnny Vegas: HORSESHIT!

Terra Skye: Anyway.. Our next match features three of the top teams in Carnage competing in a Triple Threat Tornado Tag Ladder Match for the prestigious Carnage Wrestling Tag Team Championships.

Johnny Vegas: It's like a bad high school drama with these six people. Jonathan Willis is Axton Gunn's new boyfriend and Dominick Strife is upset that Axton seems to have chosen Jon over his buddies in The Entourage. Strife feels betrayed, Axton feels like Strife isn't being fair, and Sebastian Hawke is just caught up in the middle. And Jonathan Willis has somehow managed to become even more obnoxious and preachy and probably should just start wearing a cape and a big giant "S" on his chest with how much he keeps talking about all the "believe in yourself" nonsense. And no one knows if Christopher Marlowe is even showing up tonight!

Terra Skye: It's definitely been a few very interesting weeks for all six people involved in this match, and it's all lead to this. Let's head ringside for the official introductions.

The lights die down as the crowd falls silent. "True Survivor" beats over the loudspeakers as blue spotlights highlight the stage. Running out to the beat of the music comes Sebastian Hawke, all smiles. Waving at the people closest to him, Sebastian gets a running start and heads down the ramp at full speed. With a leap, Hawke jumps unto the apron and jumps over the top rope, landing inside the ring while doing his best superhero landing, a confidant smile still on his face.

“Shoot to Thrill” by AC/DC blares out of the music system as Dominick Strife makes his way down to the ring, eliciting some cheers and, due to his recent actions and attitudes, several boos.

Kelly Carmichael: The following is a Triple Threat Tornado Tag Team Match for the Carnage Wrestling Tag Team Championships! Introducing first... the team of Dominick Strife and Sebastian Hawke... THE ENTOURAGE!

"Don't Threaten Me With a Good Time" by PANIC! At the Disco blares out of the music system as Team Rock Lobster, Jonathan Willis and Axton Gunn, make their entrance. Glittery gold stardust filters down from the rafters onto both men, illuminating their contrasting makeup. Both men smile and charge into the ring, standing only inches away from their opponents.

Kelly Carmichael: And their opponents... the team of Jonathan Willis and Axton Gunn... TEAM ROCK LOBSTER!

The Carnage-Tron cuts to a crude cartoon version of Christopher Marlowe, huddled over a piece of parchment as he touches a quill to his chin and reflects upon his next masterpiece. A thought bubble forms, an equally crude Catalina Cortes taking shape as the bubble expands, eventually crowding Marlowe into one corner of the screen. It cuts to black. An ear-splitting siren follows, the Carnage-Tron flashing !!!CHAMPION APPROACHING!!! in garish gold, before giving way to silence. As POP/STARS vs MEGALOVANIA by Dj Cutman kicks in, the Carnage-Tron fades to CATALINA CORTES in flashing red and orange, a single spotlight finding the Lucha Princess at the entry way, clad in pink and white.

Kelly Carmichael: And their opponents... Introducing first... From Pasadena, California... She is one half of the Carnage Wrestling Tag Team Champions... CATALINA CORTES!

She takes a bow, peering at the crowd through pink googles, and she unsheathes a pair of fake katanas from her title belt, worn bandolier style around her waist. Her ring attire is a wrestling approximation of Gwenpool, a derivative of Deadpool, making her costume a knockoff of a knockoff. The irony doesn't seem to register, as she drops the katanas in the entryway and makes her way to the ring, slapping the occasional hand but more often pointing back to the Carnage-Tron still flashing her name.

She goes to slide into the ring, before stopping herself on the apron and yanking off her goggles. Catalina gives them to a disgustingly adorable girl in the front row, all for the sake of a cheap pop, which she receives and revels in. From there, she takes a seat on one of the ring steps, anxiously eying the entryway and the arrival of her partner.

After some hesitation, 'A Mighty Fortress Is Our God' begins to play and the Marlowe fans in the audience rise to their feet. Cortes - and her opponents look out to the stage as they await the other half of the Carnage Tag Team Champions.

Terra Skye: He's here! We haven't seen or heard from Marlowe since Chaos 100! Many fans and insiders were left doubting if he would show up at all!

However, as time passes, Marlowe does not appear - and the music awkwardly fades out, leaving the wrestlers in the ring exchanging glances. Cortes' jaw is clenched, staring down her opponents and making a strong effort to look determined instead of crestfallen.

There's a sound on the PA system, starting out quiet and becoming increasingly distracting.

Terra Skye: I just want to apologize for that noise over the speakers, our technicians are currently working to -

Johnny Vegas: It sounds like horseshoes! Have they hooked up a microphone to a horse race or something?

The tron shoots to life - showing the parking lot outside. The source of the noise is revealed - a man in a black hat and cloak riding a dark horse through the parking lot. 'Old Heart Falls' by Katatonia begins to play, its percussion assisted by the horse's hooves drawing closer.

Terra Skye: What's going on? Is that -

As the horse trots closer to the camera, we see the rider's face.

Terra Skye: It's CHRISTOPHER MARLOWE!

His eyes are cold and disinterested, his face painted like that of a Dramatist's mask. He assesses the camera briefly with a sigh, and dismounts - dropping his cloak behind him as he walks purposefully into the arena. We cut back to the interior of the arena, watching Cortes' reaction as Christopher Marlowe emerges on stage, holding a skull. He tosses his hat aside. The crowd roars.

Terra Skye: He's finally here!

Marlowe crushes the skull in his hand and it shatters into dust, his gaze fixed on the ring - he strides down the ramp with speed and slides into the ring.

Kelly Carmichael: And introducing her tag team partner... CHRISTOPHER MARLOWE! TOGETHER THEY ARE THE CARNAGE WRESTLING TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD!!!! THE KIT. KAT. CONNECTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DING DING!!

The fans come unglued as the bell quickly rings and match begins exactly how you'd expect a Triple Threat Tornado Tag Ladder Match to start: with an all-out melee in the middle of the ring! Dominick Strife charges at Jonathan Willis, Christopher Marlowe sprints towards Axton Gunn, and Catalina Cortes and Sebastian Hawke begin exchanging stiff forearms! All six competitors are letting their fists and feet fly! Axton and Jon are whipped towards each other, but thinking quickly, they jump, catch each other by the wrists, spin each other around, and hit tandem dropkicks to two of their opponents, Catalina Cortes and Sebastian Hawke! Seb and Cat are shoved into the ropes!

Marlowe and Strife charge at Axton and Jon, but both men duck, sending their opponents sailing over them, and both Cat and Seb hit Strife and Marlowe with big kicks to the side of the head, dazing them! Axton and Jon spring back up and charge into Marlowe and Strife, nailing them with Cannonball Setons that rocket them into Cataline and Seb! All six competitors take a tumble to the outside, going down in a mass of flailing limbs!

Johnny Vegas: I can barely keep my eyes on what's happening! Somebody bring in the slow motion guys!

Terra Skye: I think that's just a YouTube show. I don't think it's possible to do anything like that in real-time.

Johnny Vegas: Not with that attitude it's not!

All six competitors are more than willing to take their fight to the outside! Catalina attempts a swift thrust kick to Jonathan Willis, but Jon catches it! Jon throws Cat's leg up to try and knock her off-balance, but Catalina athletically backflips onto the shoulders of Dominick Strife! Jon then runs forward and executes a Blockbuster-type Flipping Neckbreaker onto Catalina, but as Catalina falls she's able to nail Strife with an Inverted DDT!

Axton Gunn and Sebastian Hawke get up facing away from each other, bump into each other, and turn around, their fists raised... and both men hesitate. Seb shrugs awkwardly, pointing to the chaos all around them, highlighting the awkwardness of the situation. Gunn laughs. Both men are nearly blindsided by a sudden attack by Christopher Marlowe, but the lightning-quick reflexes of both men cause them to duck under Marlowe's attempted double clothesline. Thinking quickly, Axton snatches up Marlowe in a German Suplex hold, and as Marlowe attempts to break free, Sebastian Hawke hits him with a Superkick! And Gunn uses the momentum to execute his German Suplex!

Johnny Vegas: Hey! That's cheating!

Terra Skye: First off, there's no disqualifications since the only way to win is to climb a ladder and grab the belts. Second off, there's no rule against the teams working together. Third off, it's obvious Seb and Axton still consider each other close friends, and that's very admirable given all the drama The Entourage has been through recently.

Boy: FOURTH ATE THE TENTH ON THE ELEVENTH AT SEVEN!

Johnny Vegas: What does that even mean?!

Terra Skye: I believe Boy was trying to make a "Because seven eight nine" joke because I was listing off numbers. Good effort, Boy.

Boy: DIE TWEEVER!

Terra Skye: Sure.

Also outside the ring, Jonathan Willis is officially the first person in the match to touch a ladder! The crowd cheers as Jon folds up one of the stationary ladders that has been placed on the outside of the ring and shoves it into the ring. On the outside, Catalina Cortes and Dominic Strife are exchanging harsh blows, and Strife seems to be getting the better of the exchange, his punches carrying plenty of vicious intent behind them. Strife deals Cat a huge Forearm Shiver, buckling her knees and sending her leaning up against the fan barricade. Strife backs up, sprints towards Cat... and runs right into a Spinning Thrust Kick, doubling Strife over! Catalina pumps up the crowd, readying them for a show-stopping maneuver, and she leaps onto the fan barricade! Catalina jumps off the barricade and onto Dominic Strife, hitting him with a Double Foot Stomp and using him as a springboard to catapult herself onto the ring apron!

And she's not done! Cat springs onto the top rope and jumps into the air! Jonathan Willis had been busy attempting to set up his ladder in the middle of the ring, and right as he gets it set up and locked into place, Catalina vaults off the top rope and straight onto the middle of the ladder! The crowd roars in approval as Cat sprints up the ladder! But the "AAHS" of the fans turn to "OOHS" as right as Catalina places her fingers onto the championship gold, she's hit in the back by a steel chair courtesy of Dominic Strife!

Johnny Vegas: There we go! Just because it's ladder match doesn't mean they can't use other weapons! It's Carnage Wrestling! It's like a hardcore Christmas anytime you look under the ring! I can't wait to see what they pull out next!

The fans boo mightily, but Strife responds by nailing Catalina across the back once again. The fans boo even louder, and Strife responds by throwing the chair upwards like a missile, catching Cat on the side of the head. The Twitch star and Lucha royalty has finally had enough and loses her balance, falling off the ladder and landing in a heap in a corner of the ring. Jonathan Willis immediately corners Dominic Strife, shouting at him, and Strife responds by flipping Jonathan off and punching him in the face!

Sebastian Hawke and Axton Gunn enter the ring, and all three members of The Entourage being arguing with each other as Jonathan looks on, holding his jaw, unsure what to do. Suddenly, Jon shouts a warning, but it's too late, as Christopher Marlowe has leaped onto the ring apron with a kendo stick! Utilizing his long reach, he nails Axton Gunn on the side of the head with the kendo stick! And Sebastian Hawke! And even Dominic Strife! Jonathan Willis charges at Marlowe, but Marlowe ducks, shoves a shoulder through the middle rope, and hits Jonathan right in the ribs, doubling him over! Marlowe then springs to the top rope and comes crashing down with a full-force shot with the kendo stick right across Jon's exposed back, breaking the stick in two!

Johnny Vegas: Swing batter batter swing! It's a home run! One painted freak is down for the count!

With no other opponents standing before him, Christopher Marlowe begins climbing the ladder! He gets about halfway up before Dominic Strife deals a clubbing blow to the small of his back! And Strife begins climbing up after Marlowe! Strife begins firing shots up at Marlow as Marlowe begins swinging down at Strife! Strife grabs Marlowe around the waist! As the two men struggle for positioning, Jonathan Willis gets up under Strife and Powerbombs him down, causing Strife to German Suplex Christopher Marlowe off the ladder! The fans cheer as Marlowe and Strife hit hard on the mat! Jonathan Willis looks around for any nearby opponents... and gets hit by a double superkick, courtesy of Catalina Cortes and Sebastian Hawke! Jon goes down, and Axton Gunn charges at Catalina, spearing him through the middle rope and to the outside! Sebastian Hawke looks all around him, shrugs, and begins climbing the top ladder!

Johnny Vegas: Don't tell me this little pissant actually thinks he's going to climb up and win the championship!

Sebastian gets all the way to the top! But right as his fingertips touch gold, he begins moving forward against his will! Christopher Marlowe is lifting the ladder! The ladder swings forward in an arc, and Sebastian leaps off the ladder to the outside, right on top of Catalina Cortes and Axton Gunn! Marlowe looks on apologetically, mouthing a quick "Sorry" to his tag partner as she struggles to get up on the outside, but suddenly Marlowe is whipped around and dealt and harsh knife-edge chop by Dominic Strife! And Marlowe answers in kind! The two men trade hard chops as the fans chant "WOO!!!!"

Strife attempts a clothesline, but Marlowe ducks! Marlowe deals Strife a swift kick to the ribs, doubling him over! Marlowe sets up Strife for a Powerbomb, hauls him up... and Jonathan Willis springs up and catches Dominic Strife by the neck as he's brought down, turning Marlowe's Powerbomb into a Powerbomb/Lungblower tandem! Strife yells in pain and rolls out of the ring! Marlowe immediately turns his attention to Jonathan and attempts a European Uppercut, but Jonathan ducks and goes under his opponent, emerging right behind Marlowe! Jonathan hits Marlowe with his "Shock the System" signature maneuver! Marlowe clutches his jaw in pain and spins around, right into a Superkick by Axton Gunn! And Marlowe is down! Both members of Team Rock Lobster nod at each other and exit the ring on opposite sides, reaching under the ring to produce two new, fresh ladders!

Terra Skye: And just like that we've got even more ladders!

Johnny Vegas: You can't ever have too many!

Boy: YOU GET A LADDER AND YOU GET A LADDER AND EVERYONE GETS THE LADDERS!

Johnny Vegas: Wait, I think I actually understood that reference this time.

Terra Skye: It's a Christmas miracle.

Axton Gunn places his ladder on the ring apron... and it goes careening right back into his face, courtesy of a baseball slide by Catalina Cortes! And Jonathan Willis doesn't fare much better! When he puts his ladder on the apron, he's grabbed by the back of the head and shoved head-first into the ladder by Sebastian Hawke! Jon doubles over in pain and Hawke grimaces and says "Sorry dude!"

But suddenly, Jonathan Willis lashes out with a back elbow to Sebastian's ribs, doubling him over! Jonathan says "It's cool, I get it" right before grabbing Sebastian by the back of the head and sending him head-first into the ladder! Jonathan shoves the ladder into the ring and rolls under the ring ropes behind it, only for Dominic Strife to leap down on top of him and begin nailing Jon with vicious forearm shivers!

Catalina Cortes leaves Dominic Strife to his business of beating Jon into a pulp an she sets up a ladder in the middle of the ring! She begins making the climb, but all of a sudden, Axton Gunn begins climbing up the opposite side! The two fierce competitors being trading shots on top of the ladder! Over and over! Again and again! But suddenly, Cortes blocks a looping right from Axton and smashes his head down onto the top of the ladder! Axton rears back up, dazed and confused, and Catalina catches him with the Cata-clysm off the ladder! The fans come up out of their seat at the spectacular maneuver!

Johnny Vegas: Holy crap! The rockstar just got rocked! Somebody check him for a broken neck! And a pulse!

Dominic Strife is rudely hauled off of Jonathan Willis and dealt a savage European Uppercut by Christopher Marlowe, sending him over the top rope and to the outside of the ring! Sebastian Hawke comes leaping into the ring off the top rope, but goes flying straight into another European Uppercut! And now Christopher Marlowe is measuring Jonathan Willis! Marlowe runs at Jonathan full-speed and attempts the The Massacre At Paris, but Jon ducks and Marlowe gets tangled up in the ropes! Marlowe struggles to get himself out of the ropes as Jon quickly scales a nearby ladder! Jon gets halfway up the ladder and the audience is floored as Jonathan leaps off, catching Marlowe on the ring apron with a Spinning Huracanrana, twisting and turning and flinging Christopher Marlowe into Dominick Strife on the outside of the ring!

Johnny Vegas: It's like a carwreck! Bodies flying everywhere! I love it!

Terra Skye: All six competitors are risking it all in this match and turning in a bonafide classic!

Back inside the ring, Sebastian Hawke goes for a 10-Million Volt Thunderbolt Superkick on Catalina Cortes! But Catalina catches Seb's leg, spins him around, and nails him with a Cata-Rana! Seb's head spikes into the mat! Both Hawke and Axton Gunn begin getting up next to each other, and Cat runs the ropes, slamming back into both men with a Crossbody! But Gunn and Seb catch Catalina! Thinking quickly, Seb whips Catalina by the legs and spins her onto Axton's shoulders! Seb takes a knee and Axton nails an Oklahoma Stampede Powerslam on Catalina Cortes, onto Seb's outstretched knee! And Seb holds her in place! Gunn jumps onto the middle rope and leaps off, hitting Cortes with a big elbow drop! Catalina rolls to the outside in pain! Both Sebastian Hawke and Axton Gunn look at each other, nod, and then look at the titles! Sebastian turns to pursue his championship dreams, but Axton whips him around and attempts a Clothesline! But Sebastian ducks, spins, and nails his Entourage teammate with a 10-Million Volt Thunderbolt Superkick! The fans cheer as Sebastian sets his sights on the ladder and begins climbing!

Johnny Vegas: Cocky little bastard might just actually pull it off!

Sebastian begins climbing the ladder, but right as he gets to the top, a loud wooden THWACK is heard, as Jonathan Willis rams a table into the small of Seb's back! Seb yells in pain and nearly loses his balance, and Jon puts the table between the top rope and a rung of the ladder! Jon follows Seb up, and the two men battle for positioning as they struggle not to fall off, both their bodies tangled up on the same side of the ladder, right near the top!

Seb rams Jon's head into the ladder, and in an incredibly athletic display, leaps into the air while holding the edge of the ladder, spinning himself around and landing on the opposite side of the ladder, facing towards a dazed Jonathan Willis! Seb leaps up and catches Jon with a 10-Million Volt Thunderbolt Superkick! The force causes Sebastian to fly off the ladder, landing hard on the mat below, but Jon suffers an even worse fate as he goes crashing through the table he himself had set up! The fans cheer and chant "HOLY SHIT!" as wood flies everywhere!

Johnny Vegas: Holy shit! OK he's definitely dead this time!

Terra Skye: What an unbelievable maneuver, but this match continues!

Dominick Strife gets back into the ring, followed quickly by Christopher Marlowe! Dominic Strife focuses all of his attention on a downed Axton Gunn, and he's completely blindsided by Marlowe! Marlowe clubs him in the back of the head, sending him stumbling forward... straight into a Superkick by Catalina Cortes! The force of the blow whips Strife around, right into a Superkick by Christopher Marlowe! Then both members of the Kit-Kat Connection strike out as Strife's knees, sending Strife down on all fours! Marlowe and Cat look at each other and nods! The fans rise up and cheer! They know what's coming!

Johnny Vegas: Massacres at Paris! Say goodnight Strife!

As Marlowe and Cortes attempt their tag-team finisher, Catalina Cortes is blindsided and nailed with a 10-Million Volt Thunderbolt Superkick by Sebastian Hawke! Marlowe charges at Sebastian, but Seb ducks, spins Marlowe around, and catches the other half of the Kit-Kat connection with a 10-Million Volt Thunderbolt Superkick! And Seb's not done! Axton Gunn is back to his feet on wobbly legs, and when he turns around, Seb goes for another 10-Million Volt Thunderbolt Superkick... but gets a facefull of Vodka! Axton Gunn hits his Entourage Teammate with the Moscow Mist! Blind and gagging, Sebastian is a prime target for Axton's finisher! In an incredible display, Axton's normal Double Hop Moonsault is turned into a Triple Hop Moonsault as Axton bounces from the second turnbuckle to the top turnbuckle, then he bounces from the top turnbuckle and flings himself at an angle, landing near the top of a nearby ladder, and then he Moonsaults off the ladder onto Sebastian Hawke!

Johnny Vegas: Jesus! I guess all's fair in love and war! And title shots!

With both Axton and Sebastian down, Dominic Strife suddenly finds himself the only member of The Entourage left standing, and the only member of the entire match still standing as well! Strife begins climbing a nearby ladder! He's all the way at the top! He begins unhooking the straps! But Jonathan Willis comes flying off the top turnbuckles in a last-ditch desperate attempt to keep the match going! Jonathan flies backwards into Dominick Strife, catching Strife with a Coffin Drop! The force of the move sends both Dominick Strife and Jonathan Willis to the outside, where they crash through a pair of tables stacked on top of each other!

Johnny Vegas: Jesus! Who even set those things up?! Don't tell me the cameraman missed it?!

Terra Skye: In all the chaos and confusion it appears so, Johnny. Whoever set those tables up, I'm sure Jon and Dominick are grateful to them. Without those tables to break their fall who knows how badly those two could have been injured?

Johnny Vegas: I demand this mysterious table setter-upper reveal himself at once!

Boy: IT'S ME AUSTIN! IT WAS ME ALL ALONG AUSTIN!

Johnny Vegas: Boy! Did you set up those tables while no one was watching?!

Boy: DIE TWEEVER!

Terra Skye: I think that's all you're going to get out of him Johnny.

Johnny Vegas: It is both more than I could have ever hoped for and less than what I actually wanted.


And now it all comes down to this! Axton Gunn, Sebastian Hawke, Catalina Cortes, and Christopher Marlowe all get up around the same time as each other and all four begin climbing the two ladders that are currently set up in the ring! Christopher Marlowe and Axton Gunn being exchanging blows on opposite sides of the same ladder, as does Sebastian Hawke and Catalina Cortes!

Christopher Marlowe and Axton Gunn are audibly yelling at each other as both men trade hard shots! Meanwhile, the fiery tenacity of the Lucha princess causes her to win her own exchange and Sebastian Hawke tries one last, desperate maneuver! He goes for the 10-Million Volt Thunderbolt Superkick, not on Catalina Cortes, but on the ladder itself! Sebastian goes flying off the ladder, landing with a hard thud on the outside mats, as the ladder he was just on goes careening into the ladder Christopher Marlowe and Axton Gunn are standing on top of!

The two ladders collide with an audible BANG, and Catalina Cortes is flung off the ladder into her tag team partner! Both members of the Kit-Kat Connection sail off into the empty air, falling down and landing hard in the middle of the ring, as both ladders begin tipping over and falling! With not a moment to lose and not a second's hesitation, Axton Gunn flings himself upward off his falling ladder, shooting an arm through both tag belts! He unhooks them both with his free arm and goes careening down to the ring mat below, bruised, beaten up, but holding both championships! The fans cheer and scream as Kelly Carmichael makes it official!



Kelly Carmichael: Here are your winners... AND NEW CARNAGE WRESTLING TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD... JONATHAN WILLIS AND AXTON GUNN... TEAM ROCK LOBSTER!

Johnny Vegas: I can't believe it! I thought they were utterly insufferable before with their lovey-dovey "I love you but I've been hurt before" bullshit nonsense! Imagine how unbearable they'll be now that they're actually starting a relationship and are now both champions!

Boy: LOVE BEATS HATE. BAD JOHNNY. SHUT UP AND BE HAPPY FOR PAINTED MAN AND ROCKING MAN. THEY EARN BE HAPPY. LET BE HAPPY. IS NICE.

Terra Skye: What a beautiful sentiment, Boy.

Boy: DIE TWEEVER.

Terra Skye: That's more like it. And what an outstanding match that was! I can't wait to see where Team Rock Lobster goes as both a champion and, yes, even as a couple.

Johnny Vegas: Gag me with a spoon.

Boy: FIND ME SPOON THEN.

Johnny Vegas: On second thought...

The fans cheer as Team Rock Lobster celebrate their amazing victory, hugging and kissing in the center of the ring. The Kit-Kat Connection allows the team to have their special moment, and Sebastian Hawke looks on proudly. Meanwhile, Dominick Strife looks on angrily as the picture fades into a break.

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Where there is smoke….

The screen buzzes and flickers demanding the attention of everyone in attendance.

Johnny Vegas: What the hell is going on now?

Terra Skye: A new member of the roster, I presume.

The screen goes solid black for what feels like forever.

Terra Skye: Getting a little creepy in here.

A lighter ignites on screen illuminating the arena with a warm yellow until it is slowly drawn back to the tip of a cigarette. The person on screen snaps the lighter down and steps forward, the burning ember seemingly floating before his lips.

? ? ? : I’m upset I have to tell you who I am - but it has been a while. Restless nights and sleepless days trying to decide if I want to step back in the squared circle. If I want to clash with muscle bound freaks for the illusion of glory for the entertainment of the weak. I’ve watched from the sidelines the mediocrity of this industry. It’s got no flavor, no more spice. It’s just a plate of cookie cut appetizers never satisfying the hunger each and every one of you have.

The man takes a moment to pull the cigarette from his lips, pointing with it around the area. He stops dead glaring into the camera for a moment. He flips the cigarette in his fingers before placing it back between his lips.

? ? ?: I’m here to play with the sinners and saint, heroes and heathens - all the things I’ll never be. My name is Casanova English, I am the Modern Day Messiah and you will hear my gospel.

English adjusts his leather jacket and flicks his cancer stick at the screen. He turns and starts whistling as the screen fades to black once again.. The sound of a voice heard in the distance grows louder. A member of the notorious Manson Family.

“You're going to get up and- Burn an x in your head."

The screen explodes with white lights and fades back to the Carnage Wrestling logo as the announce table rubs at their eyes.

Terra Skye: Wow, 2021 is coming fast and the entire roster has been put on notice.

Johnny Vegas: This place attracts weirdos. I tell ya.

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Terra Skye: I'd agree with you, but I don't know. Carnage attracts some very interesting personalities, that's for sure. It'll be interesting to see what they bring to Carnage in the new year.

Johnny Vegas: Weirdness. They'll bring weirdness.

Terra Skye: I get it. What is it with you tonight?

Johnny Vegas: I'm ready to get the fuck out of here for a month and a half. That's what's up with me.

Boy: BROKEN GRAVES!

Kelly Carmichael: This next match is scheduled for one fall and is for the CARNAGE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

The house lights are dimmed to near darkness as smoke gathers around the entrance at the top of the ramp. The opening guitar solo of "Superstition" by Kyle Primus echoes across the audience in the dim, with the Carnagetron showing flickering black-and-white images of a Ouija board planchette moving on its own slowly along the arc of letters printed across the board beneath it, raw crystals and tarot cards scattered around its borders. Just as the rest of the band kicks in to join the guitar, the entrance is bathed in beams of black light, Silvio walking through them, cast in their unnatural glow for a moment, eyes and teeth flashing in the dim.

Kelly Carmichael: First to the ring... From Seattle Washington, weighing in at 195 pounds, he is your Mystifying Oracle, Silvio Leon!

He brings both hands up to eye level, palms out, revealing a pair of eyes drawn onto them. As he throws his hands down, white pyros go off one either side of him. Coming down the ramp, he shoots finger guns, winks, gives socially-distanced fist-bumps and high fives, revving up the crowd. He climbs onto the apron before doing an acrobatic flip over the top rope. Playing air guitar along with his music for a moment, he eventually comes to one corner of the ring, the jocularity evaporating from him as his eyes turn to the entrance. Leaning back against the turnbuckle, he grips the top rope and waits, his gaze positively carnivorous.

Johnny Vegas: Oh I get it, hand-eye coordination.

Terra Skye: Silvio looks ready, but he’s staring down the biggest challenge of his career thus far in Carnage Wrestling.

The arena goes completely dark and Freddy Mercury’s voice fills the arena.

Kelly Carmichael: Now, on his way to the ring... he hails from Boston, Massachusetts... weighing in tonight at 219 pounds... he is the current Carnage Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion... he is "Kyra's Plus One"... here is Ken Davison!!!

I've paid my dues, Time after time

I've done my sentence, But committed no crime

And bad mistakes, I've made a few

I've had my share of sand kicked in my face, But I've come through

As the chorus begins, a spotlight simultaneously hits the entrance. Standing with his arms extended to form a cross, is the Carnage Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion,  Ken Davison. He holds his head high in the air, an usually smug look upon his face as he takes in the lyrics of the song.

We are the champions, my friends

And we'll keep on fighting 'til the end

We are the champions

We are the champions

No time for losers

'Cause we are the champions of the world

I've taken my bows, And my curtain calls

You brought me fame and fortune and everything that goes with it, I thank you all

But it's been no bed of roses, No pleasure cruise

I consider it a challenge before the whole human race, And I ain't gonna lose

(And I need just go on and on, and on, and on)

When Davison lowers his head, he is smiling smugly to the camera. Davison makes his way down to the ring, maintaining his pose as he walks down the aisle, soaking in the boos of the crowd as though he was being cheered. He climbs the ring-steps and wipes his boots before stepping between the ropes into the ring. “We are the “Champions” continues to play as Davison climbs into the corner and unbuttons his robes. The moment the chorus kicks in again, he drops his robe and points to the Carnage Wrestling Heavyweight Championship.

We are the champions, my friends

And we'll keep on fighting 'til the end

We are the champions

We are the champions

No time for losers

'Cause we are the champions of the world

The song ends and fades out and Davison hops back down to the mat as the lights come up and the spotlight disappears. He hands his robes to the attendant at ringside and then turns around, ready for his match. Ref Jeff consults with each man, stopping to check the extra tape on Davison’s left hand.

Terra Skye: Ken Davison still favoring those fingers on his left hand, definitely something Silvio could take advantage of.

Johnny Vegas: I’ve got a finger for him.



Ref Jeff signals for the bell and Silvio is off like a shot at Ken, but GKD manages to dodge, getting behind his opponent with a waist lock. He tries to lift Silvio, but the Oracle fights out, flipping Davison over with an arm drag. Silvio keeps the arm hooked, holding Ken in a sitting position and firing a quick dropkick to the back of the champion’s neck. Davison reels, clutching his neck as Silvio flips over him with a neck breaker. Silvio’s weight pulls Ken forward, before he releases it and GKD’s head snaps backward into the mat. The Oracle is back on him in an instant, going for the first pin of the match as Ref Jeff counts.



One!



Two!!



Kickout by Davision!!

Johnny Vegas: These young guys, always trying to finish early.

Terra Skye: Great job by Silvio to start the match. He’s managed to keep the champion off balance so far.

Silvio is up first, but GKD surprises him with a vicious headbutt. The Oracle staggers, as Davison hooks him up for a powerbomb attempt. He lines up with the nearest corner and brings Silvio up, but the Oracle fights out, firing a series of punches at the champion. Davison gets a running start and tosses Silvio at the turnbuckles, but he anticipates, catching his feet on the middle turnbuckles. Davison advances on the corner, but Silvio goes for a tornado DDT with the Legion roaring.

Terra Skye: Starry Wisdom by Leon!

Silvio tries to swing off the corner, but Davison stops him. Pulling Silvio off the turnbuckles, he holds the challenger in place, dropping him with a northern lights suplex. GKD bridges as Ref Jeff counts.



One!



Two!!



Kickout by Leon!!

Johnny Vegas: That’s what happens when you go too big too early. Either that or you black out.

Terra Skye: GKD had Leon’s offense scouted, but this is the champion’s first breather since the match started.

Ken is back up with godlike quickness, driving both his feet to Silvio’s chest in a devastating stomp. Silvio tries to recover, getting to his knees following the attack, but the champion measures him, then hits a shining wizard that sends the Oracle back down.

Terra Skye: Pretty impressive how quickly Davison can turn things around with one reversal. He’s not even giving Silvio a chance to get his bearings.

Grabbing Leon by the arm, GKD pulls him up, driving a knee into his midsection, before pulling back and firing a second at the same location. Leon nearly doubles over, but the champion keeps him vertical. Ken grabs hold of Leon for an atomic drop, and hoists him up.

Terra Skye: GKD possibly looking for the Bouncing Godplex here.

Silvio manages to flip out of it, deftly landing on his feet by GKD. The challenger blasts Davison in the back with a dropkick that sends him stumbling forward into the ropes. Davison hits the ropes, but adjusts his momentum and bounces off of them, charging at Leon. Silvio is already back to his feet and leaps to catch GKD with a Tilt-a-whirl headscissors takedown. The crowd cheers in anticipation of the Miskatonic Twist, but GKD catches Leon in the middle, halting his momentum and swinging him back in the opposite direction. The champion drives Leon back into the mat with a deadly sidewinder suplex that leaves the crowd groaning at the impact.

Johnny Vegas: Great, a god who can see the future.

Terra Skye: That’s another one of Silvio’s signature moves denied by Davison. The champion’s done his homework. Oh, and since I know you haven't been paying attention - Ken has expressed that the 'Godly' part of his name isn't him anymore.

Johnny Vegas: To hell with him.. I say what I want.

Ken follows up with a cover, and Ref Jeff drops to count.



One!



Two!!



Kickout by Silvio!!!

Terra Skye: What an incredible match so far.

GKD acknowledges the count, and hoists Silvio back up. Davison’s uninjured right arm grips the throat of the challenger, lifting him up for a chokeslam. Silvio fights out, landing on his feet and trapping Davison with a wristlock. The Oracle follows with a leg sweep that drops GKD forward, rolling him into a pinning combination.



One!



Two!!



Kickout by Davison!!!

Terra Skye: Shades of Axton Gunn from Silvio with that Mouse Trap. Not enough to put the champion away, but I don’t think GKD saw that one coming.

Johnny Vegas: I bet they know a lot of each other’s moves. You know what I mean.

Terra Skye: Ugh.

Boy: BOOM CHIKA WOW WOW!

Silvio is back up in a flash, but Ken is there to meet him. The two lock-up briefly before GKD whips Silvio to the ropes. He looks for a backdrop on the rebound, but the Oracle anticipates and flips over Ken, landing on his feet behind him. GKD turns and walks right into a lightning fast superkick that catches him right underneath the chin. Dropping him to the mat again.

Terra Skye: One sec, checking my notes. That is Sebastian Hawke’s 10-Million Volt Thunderbolt.

Johnny Vegas: I’ve heard a lot of terrible move names over my career, but goddamn.

Terra Skye: More offense lifted from the Entourage. If Leon hits one of Dominic Strife’s moves he’ll have a trifecta.

Johnny Vegas: Yep, just guys practicing moves on each other.

GKD scrambles to the ropes, using them to pull himself back up. Silvio charges, but this time GKD catches him with a backdrop. The challenger flies to the apron, landing on his feet and barely hanging on by gripping the top rope. Silvio leaves an opening as he tries to regain his footing, and the champion takes advantage, stunning him with a shoulder to the gut. Davison hooks Silvio up for a suplex and attempts to bring him back into the ring, but the challenger blocks by locking an arm under the top rope. Ken tries again but Silvio gets free, cracking the champ across the jaw with a jumping enziguri. The hard shot is enough to break the suplex attempt, as GKD staggers back toward the center of the ring holding his jaw. Davison gets his bearings quickly, and goes to rebound off the opposite ropes so he can get a running start at Leon. Silvio anticipates and rockets forward, flipping over the top rope and charging ahead to catch Ken with a lariat that sends both men to the canvas, as the Legion comes unglued.

Terras Skye: Holy hell, what a clothesline from Silvio!

Johnny Vegas: Without the flip, Ken might still be alive.

Both men lay motionless for a moment, but Silvio is the first to stir, inching over to the champion so he can desperately get one arm over for a pinning combination as the Legion counts along.



One!!



Two!!!



KICKOUT BY GKD!!!

The challenger closes his eyes and takes a breath, fighting through the frustration. Finding a second wind, GKD springs back to life and hooks Silvio with a crucifix that brings his shoulders to the mat.



One!!



Two!!!



KICKOUT BY SILVIO!!!

Terra Skye: Ken might’ve been going on pure instinct there.

Johnny Vegas: It’s his reptile brain. Shapeshifting son of a bitch.

Ken is barely stirring after his desperate pin attempt, but Silvio uses the momentum from the kickout to roll back to his feet. The challenger is on the champion in an instant, pulling him back up. Once the Oracle has GKD on his feet, he reaches back and fires a clinched fist directly at the champion’s chest. The heart punch drops Davison to his knees, as he clutches his chest in agony. Silvio prepares to follow up, but before he can GKD pops back to his feet and drives a vicious heart punch of his own directly into the Oracle’s chest. Silvio crashes to the mat, with Ken toppling after him as the two men are down again.

Terra Skye: Heartbreaker, meet Widowmaker. Mitch Heart and Ken Davison both use variations of the heart punch, and it looks like that Widowmaker was Ken’s way of telling Silvio, “Anything you can do I can do better.”

Johnny Vegas: If great artists steal, then Silvio’s looking great right now.

Terra Skye: Not a bad move by Silvio, but the champion has a lot more experience throwing that punch in the middle of a match.

Ken crawls over to Silvio, hooking both legs for a cover as Ref Jeff makes the count.



One!!



Two!!!



KICKOUT BY SILVIO!!!

Ken rolls to his feet, as he does his best to battle through the fatigue. He pulls Silvio up, grabbing him in a front face look.

Terra Skye: GKD looking for Twisted Faith!

Silvio drops, attempting to hook the champion’s knees. GKD pops him in the back of the head with an elbow, but Silvio pushes through the assault, getting behind Davison and hoisting him onto his shoulders. Leon tries to setup the Downfall, but GKD slips out, sliding behind Silvio and driving another vicious elbow into his head. The challenger staggers, but fires a quick dropkick to Davison’s leg. Davis drops to one knee and Silvio hits the ropes, charging back at him with an attempted Kinshasa.

Terra Skye: Massacre at Paris, courtesy of Christopher Marlowe and Catalina Cortes.

Johnny Vegas: Two people already use that move. Three’s a crowd.

Ken ducks the knee shot, then catches Silvio’s leg. He picks the Oracle up, this time positioning him perfectly for a powerbomb. GKD somehow finds the energy to charge forward, sending Silvio back first into the corner, where he hits the turnbuckles and bounces off, landing in a heap on the mat as the crowd gasps.

Terra Skye: Great plan by Silvio. He’s thrown some of the hardest hitting moves in Carnage against the champion, but it looks like GKD has the entire company scouted.

Barely able to stand, GKD uses the ropes to make his way to the corner. He pulls Silvio back up, using one arm for leverage to position him on the top rope. Once Ken has him in place, he again goes for a front face lock.

Johnny Vegas: If Silvio can really see the future, then this is the move he’d want to look out for.


With Silvio on the top turnbuckle, GKD positions his feet on the middle ropes, preparing to drop the challenge to the mat with an avalanche Twisted Faith. Silvio gets his bearings long enough to hook Ken’s leg once again. He manages to get both his arms underneath the champion’s left leg, causing GKD to lose his balance. Silvio adjusts himself on the top turnbuckle and manages to fire another enziguri directly at GKD’s head, which topples the champion and sends him crashing face first to the mat. GKD stirs but Silvio makes one final adjustment, standing on the top turnbuckle and flying off, crashing down onto the champion with a breathtaking corkscrew shooting star press that leaves the crowd awestruck.

Terra Skye: Color Out of Space by Silvio! Looks like he got all of it!

Johnny Vegas: I think Ken got more of it than he did.

His body aching, Silvio uses the last bit of energy to roll Ken onto his back, barely able to hook the leg while Ref Jeff makes the count.



One!!



Two!!!



THREE!!!



Kelly Carmichael: The winner of this match… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND NEW CARNAGE WRESTLING WORLD CHAMPION.... SILVIO LEON!!!

The crowd erupts at the announcement. Ref Jeff retrieves the title from ringside, as Silvio lays in the ring clutching his midsection and neck. GKD is barely able to roll out of the ring, as he gets to one knee with the aid of the ring steps. Back in the squared circle, Ref Jeff presents Silvio Leon with the championship, who stares at the prize in disbelief, still letting the moment of victory sink in. His face a mask of pain from the grueling contest, Silvio gets to his feet with the aid of the referee. Using the ropes to keep himself up, he hoists his newly won championship up, the Legion once again bathing him in cheers as Ken nods his head in a subtle show of respect as he turns to walk back up the entrance ramp.

Terra Skye: We have a new World Champion!

Johnny Vegas: Yippie.

Terra Skye: What a match though! Nothing can be taken from either man here tonight, especially Ken Davison. For all his faults, his words in his promotional video showed me that there might be more to him than meets the eye.

Boy: Tricky!

Johnny Vegas: Once a snake, always a snake.

Terra Skye: Then I guess you're talking about yourself too, Johnny. But anyway, congratulations to Silvio Leon on his victory here tonight. One of the biggest of his career, that's for sure. Let's head into a break before tonight's main event!

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Backstage, a sullen-looking Christopher Marlowe is once again on horseback, making his way out of the arena. As he rounds a corner into the parking lot he sees a man standing in his way. It's Zed Hotley. Marlowe pulls the reins and the horse comes to a stop.

The two men stare each other down. With Marlowe's back to the camera, it's impossible to see his expression. On Zed's part, his jaw is clenched and he is looking almost pleadingly up at his former partner.

Eventually Hotley takes a step forward. Then stops. And then in one fluid motion, Zed walks all the way up to the horse and, taking Marlowe's outstretched arm, climbs up onto it behind him. Marlowe leans forward, and his horse once again begins walking forward. The camera observes but does not follow Hotley & Marlowe as they ride out of the parking lot and into the cold Baltimore air beyond.

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Johnny Vegas: What the fuck did I just watch?

Terra Skye: You know, I'm not quite sure. Is that the last we're going to see of Christopher Marlowe and Zed Hotley? That seemed kinda... final.

Johnny Vegas: Somehow I don't think so. Weird just kinda always ends up here. Even if it leaves, it'll be back.

Boy: FROST GIANT!

Terra Skye: Well, it looks like it's time for the main event! Let's get into it.

Kelly Carmichael: This next match is the Main Event of the evening and is an ultraviolent triple threat match for the ULTRAVIOLENT CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

The house lights all slammed off with the sound of metal scraping against metal. Heavy, almost sinister music echoes through the arena. Starkly against the dark, drops of red fall from the top of the tron to the bottom, a rain of blood slowly forming an image on the black background. A soft female voice begins to sing.

Terra Skye: And after such an incredible night of action, we are set for main event action!

Johnny Vegas: It’s about time!

Terra Skye: You’re… You’re excited for a match?

Johnny Vegas: I’m excited to get as far away from you as possible.

Boy: Bath time!

Bite my tongue, bide my time

Wearing a warning sign

Wait till the world is mine…

Visions I vandalize

Cold in my kingdom size

Fell for these ocean eyes…

The image completes- a spattered, blood red broken heart. The moment the last drop falls into place, a strobe light goes off in the entryway, revealing a figure in a hoodie, back to the audience, a blood red image of a crown on the back. The broken heart on the tron glitches in and out of the bloody crown to the beat of the music, and the figure turns, revealing a grinning Mitch Heart.

...you should see me in a crown

I’m gonna run this nothin town

Watch me make ‘em bow

One by one by one

One by one by

Mitch walks to the ring, focused, though he does spare a pause to the camera, holding up three fingers, lowering first the ring and then the pointer in time to ‘one by one by one’, thrusting the remaining middle finger into the lens before climbing onto the ring apron, grabbing hold of the top rope and vaulting over.

You should see me in a crown

Your silence is my favorite sound

Watch me make ‘em bow

One by one by one

One by one by

One

As Billie Eilish finishes the chorus of ‘You Should See Me In A Crown’, Mitch climbs the turnbuckle, throwing back his hood and raising his fists to an explosive cheer from the Legion.

Kelly Carmichael: Introducing first, challenger number one. He weighs in at 225 pounds. He is the Ace of Hearts representing The Set. He is the pride of Detroit, Michigan- MITCH ‘THE BROKEN’ HEART!

The Legion pops even louder as Mitch hangs back, bouncing from one foot to the other, awaiting his two opponents. He doesn’t have long to wait as Kelly’s voice once again rings through the arena as the lights die down.

Kelly Carmichael: Introducing next, from Parts Unknown, he is Zane King, The Lab Rat King!!!

The screens display a flickering, static-struck screen with the crowned rat logo, bone-white over a black and red spattered background as the first swelling, synthetic hits of "Professional Griefers'' begins playing; when the first heavy stomp of bass in the music strikes, the logo shudders and glitches, electricity running through it from left to right like a broken heartbeat. Below the screens the entrance is flooded with rolling fog cast in blood-red light and white strobe lights that match the beat of the song and of the electric shock waves on the screen.

Johnny Vegas: And all of a sudden I feel that my bubble of safety has been popped.

Terra Skye: I think that goes to say for anyone within this arena and at least in a ten mile radius.

Boy: Rats: Not just for carrying diseases!

There is nothing for a few moments as Mitch looks on from the ring, trying to make out what’s happening in the shadows. Suddenly, the music cuts as the sounds of a struggle can be heard! A body is flung through the fog and lands at the base of the ring as an animalistic roar overtakes the airwaves.

Terra Skye: This can’t be good… Where people are usually escorting Zane down to the ring, moreso for the safety of others, it looks like King has thrown them off and is now charging the ring!

Johnny Vegas: If it’s all the same for you, I’d rather try to get far outside this blast radius.

Johnny tries to get up to leave but Boy puts a hand on his shoulder and pushes him back down.

Boy: Family fun is sharing fun!

Mitch heads out to the apron to meet King, leaping off at the right moment and coming down on top of Zane with sharp punches to whatever he can connect with! Zane takes them in stride, picking up Mitch and slamming him hard into the edge of the ring apron, breaking The Broken’s grip! LRK is quick to follow up with a straight punch to the side of Mitch’s head, sending him down to the ground. Before being able to follow up though, the Ultraviolent Champion, Kyra Johnson comes from behind LRK and hits him over the back of the head with the title belt!

Ref Jeff sees all three competitors at the very least near the ring as he calls for the bell!



Terra Skye: Two very game competitors have come to claim what Kyra Johnson currently holds…

Johnny Vegas: But uses to smack people over the head…

Terra Skye: In a match where it’s almost expected…

Boy: Inclusion isn’t for everyone!

LRK growls as Ref Jeff calls for the bell, figuring that getting all three as close to the ring as possible was good enough for now. Grabbing Mitch by the neck, LRK does his best to hurl Heart at an oncoming Kyra, but Mitch quickly puts the brakes on and smacks LRK’s hand off of his neck! Kyra sees a shot and leaps on LRK’s back, but the monster isn’t going to go down so easily, grabbing her by the head and throwing her up and over, right on top of Mitch!

Johnny Vegas: You’re going to have to come up with something a bit better than jumping on the back of that monster…

Terra Skye: Oh? Let’s see you do better?

With a snarl, LRK grabs Kyra once again and throws her over the top rope from the floor and into the ring!

Johnny Vegas: Yeah! Fine! The best advice I can give anyone willing to take it? Don’t fuckin’ take this match.

Boy: Lawn darts for everyone!

King gets onto the apron and goes to step over, but Kyra runs the ropes, hitting the opposite side and hitting the monster’s knee with a basement dropkick! King barely stumbles as he brings his other leg over. Kyra runs and bounces off the opposite ropes again, leaping into the air and looking for a strike but is quickly caught by King, his hand wrapped around her throat! He raises her up for a chokeslam, but just as she gets to the top, a chair comes in from outside the ring, smacking LRK in the back of the head! Zane stumbles forward, his grasp loosening on Kyra enough for her to swing her legs out and kick LRK in his side as hard as she can! She drops to the mat as Mitch tosses a burlap bag into the ring as well!

Johnny Vegas: Oh great, bring on the weapons, that will solve ALL the problems.

Terra Skye: Well… It IS an ultraviolent match. There is nothing stopping them from being introduced.

Johnny Vegas: It’s already been proven that a person doesn’t NEED weapons to be ultra-violent, woman! Haven’t you been paying attention to ANYTHING?!

Terra Skye: You’re a strange breed. Aren’t you calling for the blood of some random person every other show?

Boy: Goose!

Mitch tosses a kendo stick in and it is quickly deflected by LRK, the stick bouncing off of his arm and lands on the announce table, knocking over Johnny’s drink. Mitch slides a table in and then follows in with another chair. LRK advances and Mitch swings the chair, Zane quickly blocks it and grabs Mitch by the neck, lifts him up, and drops him with a one handed spinebuster! Zane turns and is met with the burlap bag swung into his face by the champion! The force of the blow also sends LRK’s muzzle flying off his head, landing right in front of Vegas!

Johnny Vegas: Can things stop flying at us please?!

Terra Skye: It’s your magnetic personality. Has to be.

Boy: Opposites attack!

Christmas ornaments scatter everywhere as LRK roars once he realizes his muzzle was torn off. Kyra throws a punch and lands it on the monster challenger, she winds up for a second but King catches her wrist in his massive jaws, clenching down with all of his might! Kyra yells in pain, but is quickly silenced as LRK whips her by her arm! Her outstretched legs catch a recovering Mitch on the side of his head and he rolls out of the ring; King finally lets go of his hold on Kyra and tosses her to the side.

Terra Skye: Well, that’s new.

Johnny Vegas: Is this table far enough away from the ring? I’d like to avoid any more shrapnel flying in our direction…

Boy: Birds belong in the air!

LRK roars again as he goes out to follow Mitch, who is still trying to get back up to his feet. King grabs Mitch by the back of his pants, but Heart is ready as his arm swings back as he is pulled to his feet, a gallon of glue making contact with the jaw of Zane! LRK stumbles backward as Mitch quickly dives under the ring again, coming out with a spool of barbed wire. Taking a deep breath, he begins wrapping his dominant hand in the wire as King recovers. Finished, Mitch takes some wire cutters he found under the ring and snips his now wire wrapped hand free from the spool, before clocking LRK with a massive uppercut!

Terra Skye: When in doubt use barbed wire?

Johnny Vegas: Kid should have stuck his hand in the glue first, probably would hurt less and keep the wire more secure.

Terra Skye: Weren’t you JUST complaining about the weapons?

Johnny Vegas: Eh? If you can’t beat them… Grab the barbed wire and let's see some blood!

Boy: Gladiator fight!

LRK stumbles backward as Mitch presses his advantage, landing as many hits with his fists as possible to back King up. Kyra manages to recover, wrapping tape around a bloody bite, before grabbing her trademark liquor bottle and smashing it over the back of King’s head, spraying Mitch with the alcohol and glass shrapnel! LRK turns, backhanding Kyra hard, the champion taking the hit on the cheek and bouncing off the announce table and to the floor with the force of the blow! Mitch growls fiercely as he unwinds some of the wire around his arm, using the distraction to leap up on LRK’s back and wrapping the slack around the monster’s neck! LRK grabs at the wire around his throat, managing to twist his body around much to the dismayed surprise of Mitch as the LRK’s ichor starts to leak from his wounds. Grabbing the wire, he pulls Mitch in close and takes him down with a hard clothesline!

Terra Skye: Ok, yeah, think I’m going to be sick. Should we check on Kyra?

Johnny Vegas: Who cares? Let her…

Suddenly, a hand appears as Kyra pulls herself up to her feet, her cheek split open and starting to swell from the force of King’s blow. She glares at Johnny, grabs his bottle of whiskey, takes a swig for herself, and pours the rest of it into Johnny’s lap! The crowd cheers as she rolls back into the ring and uses the bottle to once again smack LRK over the back of his head! Once again the monster howls as he turns and tries to backhand Kyra again. The champion, one to learn from history, ducks quickly and fires off a couple quick shots to King’s midsection, before dropping down again, kicking at Zane’s knee! King buckles, but recovers quickly as Kyra gets back to her feet. Hitting the ropes she goes for another powerful kick to LRK’s knee, but the rat is quick to catch her in a tight hug before sending her up and over onto the pile of ornaments from before with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex! The Legion erupts as Kyra bridges, the cameras able to catch several of the pointy metallic bits sticking out of the champions back!

Johnny Vegas: She should have just stayed down, miserable bi…

Boy: Birch!

For whatever reason, Boy tosses reaches over and grabs the forgotten kendo stick and throws it into the ring! Mitch manages to grab hold of the kendo stick as King picks him up again, bringing it down over Zane’s head with all of his might, breaking the stick in two! Zane drops Mitch who quickly uses the bottom half he holds in his hand to aim a shot right at King’s abs! LRK absorbs the hit and grabs Mitch by the arms, his other hand ripping the stick away from Mitch’s grasp. With the sharpened end of the stick, he digs it as hard as he can into Mitch’s forehead, blood flowing down to cover The Broken’s face!

Terra Skye: Looks like you got your wish…

Johnny Vegas: Serves that lowlife right!

Boy: And I helped!

Smiling at his work, Zane tosses the bloodied kendo stick down and then bites down on Mitch’s shoulder! Mitch yells out in pain but LRK doesn’t relent until Kyra gets back up to her feet and smashes a chair over the back of LRK! Zane stumbles, sandwiching Mitch in the corner, biting with all of his might before releasing Mitch, tossing him over his head with a belly to back suplex, Mitch landing hard as he comes to a stop on the scattered bed of broken glass. Unwrapping the wire from around his neck, LRK turns his attention onto the champion who stands ready with the chair. With one mighty swing, Kyra uses her speed to bring the chair down onto LRK’s head, but the monster manages to catch the chair with his own hands, ripping it from Kyra’s grasp and bringing it down over her head with a massive swing of his own! The chair wraps itself around Kyra’s head as she goes down to her knees instantly, the chair around her neck like a macabre necklace as blood freely pours from a gash the chair left on the back of her head.

Terra Skye: Things have gone from bad to worse for Kyra as King pulls her forwards so her neck is still trapped in that chair!

Johnny Vegas: As much as I hate the bitch, I don’t think I’m going to like what I see…

Boy: Horror cheese!

LRK snarls, sending saliva everywhere, lifting his foot to stomp on Kyra’s back. Mitch runs in at the last moment, wrapping his arm still wrapped in barbed wire around LRK’s throat! LRK stumbles backward but drops backward, sandwiching Mitch between himself and the shattered remains of the Christmas ornaments! Mitch releases the hold as King picks him back up and onto his shoulders, slamming Mitch back down on top of Kyra’s back with the EMPTY, HOLLOW, THUD!

Terra Skye: Oh my God! Someone needs to stop this before someone gets hurt!

Johnny Vegas: Ok MOM…

Terra Skye: YOU were the one complaining about weapons! That could have ended Kyra’s career!

Johnny Vegas: When you put it like that… Bitch had it coming for her…

Before Terra can respond, Boy slaps Johnny on the back of the head, sending the veteran commentator’s head into the desk!

Boy: Play nice!

LRK gets on top of Mitch and delivers headbutts and punches to whatever he can, a variation of the Rat Cage! Finally satisfied with the carnage, LRK pulls Mitch’s lifeless body off of Kyra and places a hand on his chest.

Terra Skye: That's gotta be--

But before the referee can drop and count, somehow Kyra has rolled over and she sends a boot right up under the chin of the Lab Rat King!! King's eyes go wide as he rises from Mitch and approaches the champion who's back up to her knees. He grabs Kyra by the back of her head and pulls her to her feet as she swings wildly, hitting King with anything she can muster at this point but King's got the advantage as he lifts her and slams her into that mat hard enough that the echo bounces through the arena, over the sound of the rabid crowd. Kyra lays motionless on the Mat as LRK drops down and presses her shoulders into the mat!



ONE!



TWO!



THREE!



LRK bounces off of Kyra and grabs the UV belt from Ref Jeff, putting it into his mouth as he stands triumphant in the middle of the ring!

Kelly Carmichael: The winner of this match and newwww Ultraviolent Champion, THE LAB RAT KING!!

Medical personnel swarms the ring, along with Ken Davison to assist Kyra and Mitch, who have both somehow managed to roll to opposite aprons. Mitch lands on the ground beside the ring on his knees, shaking his head in frustration while Kyra isn't so graceful - landing on the ground in a heap of blood and glass. As Personnel try to help them, LRK stands inside the ring, his eyes wide with a madness as he paces around the ring, amid the horror show around him.

Terra Skye: Wow..

Johnny Vegas: That was fucking brutal.

Terra Skye: We've got a new Ultraviolent Champion. I gotta say, throughout this one, any of these three could have taken it. Three tough wrestlers. Amazingly tough wrestlers. What a way to end this night.

Johnny Vegas: At least K--

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The roar of the Legion rings in the Lab Rat King’s ears; he takes the belt from his teeth and hoists it over his head with both arms, letting out an absolutely bestial howl. Bloody, bruised but far from broken, he’s the very picture of an ultraviolent monster--looking every bit like he was created for this. In the thralls of bloody victory, he can’t distinguish between the screaming crowd and some kind of commotion happening in the Arena.

Terra Skye: A woman has just pushed past the security personnel and one of the refs in a frankly impressive show of strength!

Johnny Vegas: Who the fuck is that lady?! Is this one of those stupid crossover things?!

Terra Skye: She’s getting up into the ring… and going straight to the freshly crowned Ultraviolent Champion!

The Lab Rat King’s eyes snap to her as she comes under the ropes. They slowly regain their focus; the bestial glare in them fades, and that familiar, thoughtful depth gradually returns. His vision swims blurry and it takes him a moment to process that there’s someone standing in front of him, both hands cradling his head to hold eye contact with him.

The mutant draws in a raspy breath, coughing up a few droplets of blood. His eyes focus on hers; amber to blue.

Lab Rat King: … Grace...?

He looks confused as he speaks the name--as though he doesn’t know where it came from, as well as trying to come back to some semblance of reality at the same time.

The woman lets out a tearful laugh, nodding.

Grace: I knew...I knew you weren’t gone.

Up on her toes, she runs a hand through his hair, with a little hiccuping sob.

The Lab Rat King, still breathing heavily from the exertion of the vicious match, stares down at the woman, his eyes searching her face. He seems to be soothed by her touch, the last of the fight leaving him. When he speaks it’s not his typical barking growl, but a low, soft rumble that only very few on the roster had ever heard.

Lab Rat King: I… I know you...

Grace rubs the tears from her eyes with a hand before holding it up for him to see the gleaming moonstone ring on her left ring finger.

Grace: Yeah, I’d say so.

It takes a second, but something seems to click after a few seconds staring at the ring.

Lab Rat King: Are you… are we married?

Johnny Vegas: Sure, this monster freak spends the last five months screaming his head off, and now he’s so quiet we can barely hear a goddamn thing he’s saying!

Terra Skye: Shhhh!!

Grace: Well we did the thing in the church where we exchanged jewelry in front of God and all our friends and family, promising we’d be bestest buddies with benefits forever and then we all ate from a cake with tiny figures that looked like us on top, so yeah. I’d say we completed that ritual.

Stunned, the mutant blinks slowly, staring a moment longer before uttering a raspy but sincere reply.

Lab Rat King: Oh.

The mutant hesitates, suddenly starkly aware that he’s covered in blood. With the belt hanging in one hand, he looks down at the woman who must be his wife, reaching up to delicately touch her jaw with two rough fingertips.

Lab Rat King: … just now, I remembered… you had a silver barrette in your hair… with a blue stone, sitting in a crescent moon…

Smiling, Grace reaches up to touch his hand with one of her own.

Grace: I’m just so glad you’re still here. Luna...I...there’s a lot, Kane. A lot we need to...do and...God let’s just get out of the ring. Then we can talk about everything.

Lab Rat King: Kane…?

The Lab Rat King starts to stagger from the ring, the match temporarily forgotten, holding one of the ropes as he moves to exit the ring with her.

Lab Rat King: Who’s Luna?

Grace looks up at him, smiling gently. She gestures for him to lean down a little as she stands on her toes to whisper into his ear.

The Lab Rat King’s eyes go wide before his knees completely give out, collapsing down to the canvas.

Johnny Vegas: WHAT DID SHE SAY?!

Terra Skye: I think we better get another med team out here before we dive into that!

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Johnny Vegas: I want to know what she said!

Terra Skye: Well I don't think we're going to be finding that out anytime soon. But we're at the end of the night, folks, and what a night it's been!

Johnny Vegas: Yeah, yeah... Can we leave now?

Boy: JINGLE JINGLE!

Terra Skye: Yes, Johnny. We can go. From our family to yours, have a happy holiday and we'll see you all in 2021, starting with Chaos 104 on January 18th!!! Be safe and happy, and thank you for being here with us Carnage Legion!

Johnny Vegas: BYE MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

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ULTIMATE CARNAGE 6 CREDITS:

Opening - Barbie

Segment - Naughty or Nice? - Zen/Mia

Match 1 - Jobber Battle Royale - Joe/Elijah

Segment - Prepared - Elijah

Match 2 - Annie Lennox Vs. The Avenger - Elijah

Segment - A Very Jackal Christmas - Jess

Match 3 - Trent Steel Vs. Zephyr Quinn - Jay

Segment - Happy Holidays from the Ouroboros - SSRI/Jay/Mia

Match 4 - Pandaemonium Vs. Forsaken - Jay

Segment - Dream Big, Live Easy - Biggie

Match 5 - Lord Raab Vs. Adrienne Levi - Elijah

Segment - CatProof - Scott

Match 6 - The Entourage Vs. Team Rock Lobster Vs. Kit-Kat Connection - Oliver

Segment - Modern Day Messiah - Casanova

Match 7 - Ken Davison Vs. Silvio Leon - Scott

Segment - The Last Ride of Christopher Marlowe - Andrew

Match 8 - Kyra Johnson Vs. Mitch Heart Vs. LRK - Mia

Segment - The Lab Rat's Queen - Zen

Closing - Barbie



Commentary: Barbie, Elijah, Mia, Scott, Jay, Oliver, Joe

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