Post by Axton Gunn on Oct 21, 2020 0:30:13 GMT -5
[ty Silvio for the collab, a delight as always <3]
“I hope I remembered your Autumn usual right. Unless you changed your mind.”
Silvio leaned back in his seat, smiling as Axton approached. He was dressed in a red peacoat and black scarf to ward against the chill, a pair of paper coffee cups on the table before him.
“You’re still a basic PSL devotee, right?” he teased with a grin.
“From October 1st until the end of November. Then I’m a peppermint bitch.”
Axton was beaming as he slid into the seat across from Silvio, catching a whiff of the familiar scent of pumpkin and clove; he’d dressed for the mid-fall weather in a warm brown bomber jacket over a hoodie, dropping his headphones around his neck.
“How do you always hit that perfect balance between classy and punk? You always look so good, Sil.”
Silvio laughed. “Pumpkin Spice now, but Minter is Coming. Jeez, you’re going to be spending Christmas somewhere it actually snows.” Raising a brow, he grinned. “You must be stoked about that.” He picked up his flat white and sipped it. “And thanks - I do my best with the wardrobe. Could say the same for you; you always look good in a bomber jacket.”
He felt a welcome little rush of warmth to his face as Axton settled in. It had been a while since they’d done this, but it didn’t feel as if any time had passed at all.
Axton grinned over the lip of his cup, now smeared with whipped cream and cinnamon. “Gotta admit, I don’t think I’m prepared. The bomber is a favourite, but my fragile SoCal sensibilities are gonna kick in pretty soon and I’m gonna have to get a proper winter coat. Maybe I should bring you along so you can teach me to look as sharp as you, sweetheart?”
God, Axton thought. It’s like he never left.
“I swear, you’d love it if every trip to the mall was like an 80s fashion montage.” Looking wistful, he shook his head. “God...that reminds me...how is Zach doing? They’re probably going to slap the shit out of me whenever we meet again.”
“Oh yeah, they’re gonna kill you.” Axton took a sip of his latte, setting it down, scratching a chrome-painted nail against the tabletop. “I did let them know you’re alive and well, so hopefully that’ll soften the blow from murder to maiming… but yeah! They’re doing good. They actually did me a favour earlier this week helping out Ades with her promo cut. Sent us some studio-quality makeup and hair supplies and walked me through doing it on Facetime.” He grinned, leaning over the table on his elbows. “Maybe I can convince them to come up here for a show sometime so they can maul you in person.”
“If I must be scarred by a French manicure, I’d rather it be the French manicure of a dear friend,” Silvio said with a shrug. He watched Axton’s fingers with a little smile, feeling half-tempted to reach out and twine his own with them. “Adrienne really brought it with this last piece, didn’t she?” He shook his head, raising his brows. “She’s so inspiring. And how gorgeous was that church? I think Ken has a helluva fight on his hands. I don’t know much about his background, but he has to face a survivor, and that’s not gonna be easy.”
“Yeah. I guess you’d know something about that.”
Axton’s tone softened, leaning forward on the table a bit. His meadowgreen eyes searched Silvio’s face with a fondness and an air of slight concern.
“How’ve you been, Sil? I feel like all we’ve talked about is me boning everything up since I got here. I wanna know about you.”
He blinked in surprise at that before giving Axton a sheepish little smile. “I mean...where do you want me to start, Summer Eyes? I got a ledger to balance and...I know that kinda brought out the survival instinct in me.” Raising a brow he gave a lopsided grin. “The parlor’s doing well and I got a nice little place above it.” Reaching out, he touched Axton’s hand gently. “Was there something in particular you were worried about?”
Summer Eyes. Axton felt that twinge in the pit of his chest again, like a ribbon tied through his ribs. That dumb smile, too. Every time.
“I just… well I know you don’t want to go into details, but you did kinda fall off the radar for a long time.” Axton shifted his hand, letting his thumb settle on top of Silvio’s knuckles while the other hand nursed his coffee. “I guess now that I know you didn’t die and you don’t hate me, I wanted to check in and make sure you don’t… need anything, you know? That your shop is doing well, that you’re not struggling for anything… I wanna know you’re just--just safe, and comfortable.”
He was getting flustered, eyes on his cup now.
“Not to like, helicopter you or anything. That shit’s just important to me.”
Silvio felt his heart give a little lurch. He felt that little tingle at the base of his skull; the encouragement to confess everything and hopefully convert another believer. He bit his tongue to keep him from the temptation of that buzzing, glittering high; the pain grounding him.
“It’s totally normal that you would have worried about me. We were close and I just...disappeared.” He winced. “I’m...Christ, I’m sorry. I feel like a horrible person for doing it, but I had good intentions. I just...didn’t want to see you get hurt in a way that couldn’t be fixed. I don’t want to see you get hurt at all, granted, but...I really didn’t want you to get messed up by something that was my fault.” He made a helpless gesture with one hand. “I know intent and outcome aren’t necessarily coincident, and I still hurt you and...I’m just grateful you’re willing to work to move past it with me.”
“Sil, sweetheart.” Axton shook his head through the last of Silvio’s words, his hand gradually wrapping around the Oracle’s. “Forget it, ok? We’re over that bump now, we figured it out. Honestly I feel so fuckin’ relieved that you have somewhere to live, and you’re working, you’re not lonely and you’re even having fun with your life. You know what I’m like.” He laughed, pulling his hand back from his coffee to scratch at his eyebrow. “I like to take care of people that are close to me… It just… makes me feel wanted, and useful. And I guess I-I…”
Axton stuttered, swallowing around a sudden tightness in his throat. His head was screaming at him to shut up. Part of him wanted to crawl out of his own skin or just evaporate on the spot--This was getting personal fast, and he was starting to feel vulnerable.
“I thought maybe if you liked having me around, I could just be there for you. Or go back to being there. I dunno. I fucked up on not telling you how much it meant to me that you just wanted me around for the hell of it, and not because I was willing to do whatever.”
“I know what you’re like, Ax.”
Smiling gently, he lifted Axton’s hand and pressed it gently against his cheek.
“And I’m glad you feel comfortable enough around me to be yourself. It’s one of the reasons I care about you.”
People weren’t in the habit of asking how Silvio felt and honestly, he didn’t think much of it. He’d been taking care of himself and other people for so long, it felt weird to think anyone else would consider him. Even when everything with Axton had happened, it felt like people had gotten angry on his behalf without even asking him how he felt about the situation. While he appreciated the sentiment behind it all, it felt a lot like others had decentralized his feelings and made what had happened on 97 about them, instead. He knew Knox was likely upset with him for teaming with Zane again, too, but there wasn’t much to be done there. The last thing Silvio was going to do was let his roommate twist in the wind, at the mercy of whatever some maniacs had done to his body and mind. He’d shown he was the only person who could calm Zane down. What better way to keep others safe than stick close to the guy so he could think lucidly? He’d been grateful that Adrienne had been willing to talk with him and Ax, at least.
But maybe everyone could smell there was something wrong with him, after all. Maybe there was a reason they were stepping back. He couldn’t blame them - everyone had their own stories to tell and their own dreams to pursue.
He thought of Spooky’s recent hallucinatory episode. If it had been a hallucination.
WE WILL MAKE SUCH A HORROR OF YOU.
The words echoed back at him, a chill going down his spine.
Maybe people thought that of him already.
“Yeah. Yeah… I know you do.”
His chest aching, Axton allowed himself the simple pleasure of cradling Silvio’s face in his hand; that alone was enough to make him feel a little more grounded. He trusted Silvio so much. He knew this person would never hurt him, not intentionally, no matter how much he knew. If there really was something rotten inside of him that turned people away when they dug too deep? Silvio didn’t care. Silvio didn’t judge him. Silvio knew he was trying, despite the vicious hurdles his life experience had put in the way.
“I… I care about you so much.”
Spit it out. Do it. Come on.
“I don’t wanna fuck up again… I mean I don’t wanna lose you again before I can tell you to your face how much of a difference you’ve made in my life, and… and if I have one regret about all of this, it’s that I didn’t… ever ask you for real if you wanted to…”
He smiled nervously, colour flushing his ears.
“Do you wanna go steady? Like… be my boyfriend again? But this time, with the official sticker on it?”
Silvio’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped briefly before he shook his head with a crooked smile.
“You...want that? With me? You’re sure? You have all these new people that are just...dazzled with you.”
“Yeah, but… I’m dazzled with you, Sil.”
Axton squeezed Silvio’s hand, watching his face.
“I know neither of us are that big on single partners… we got a lot to give. So I don’t wanna close that door for us, if you’re ok with that. I don’t wanna stop you from holding anybody who makes your heart do the smiley emote.” He grinned a bit, looking down at the table. Still couldn’t help cracking jokes to lighten the mood. “And yeah, there’s a lot of fresh faces and I’m curious. But I’m done running from shit that scares me. I was scared you’d break my heart, you know…? But I don’t think… I don’t think you will.”
He swallowed, looking up, lightly biting his bottom lip.
“I trust you.”
“...Yeah. I’d love for this to be official.”
He remembered all the time in LA - the way Axton had so deftly avoided outright saying he wanted to commit to anyone. He’d always thought it was just because Ax didn’t like labels and didn’t want to have anything potentially hold him down. He was a rockstar, after all.
Smiling, he brought Axton’s hands up to his lips and kissed the knuckles softly.
Axton was glad he was sitting down, since the sudden weakness in his knees would have put him on the ground for sure. The sheer relief he felt, the sudden weight lifting from his shoulders… it was as if the stress and fear and loneliness during the entire time they’d been apart just… vanished.
“... Cool,” he murmured, shoulders curling up a bit alongside his foolish smile.