Post by Kohaku Fujihara =^.^= on Oct 6, 2020 10:59:48 GMT -5
Ja Matta Ne, Pt. 2
OOC: This is a collab with the always amazing mystifyingoracle . This, along with the first part, take place before Chaos 99. Enjoy, and je matta ne~
It occurred to Kohaku that showing up here in the middle of the night had never been for fun reasons. They’d never even gotten the chance to have that particular kind of fun.
He closed his eyes, biting his lip. Maybe this was too drastic. Maybe there was a way around this. But he knew that sort of thinking was just denial. There wasn’t. What had such a short time ago had held such promise and hope was tainted and spoiled, and it was as much his fault as anyone else’s, if not a little more. If he didn’t do this, it would only get worse.
Picking up some loose pebbles from the ground, Kohaku flicked them one by one at the windows above the tattoo shop, hoping the dwelling’s occupant was in. For all he knew he was out somewhere with…
...stop it.
Before long, a figure moved to the window and pushed it open. Peering out, Silvio looked at Kohaku, blinking in surprise.
“Y’know, I got the front door, foxy,” he said with a little smile.
“I know. You also got a roommate who may or may not be asleep, and I’m nothing if not devastatingly polite. Besides, isn’t this way more romantic?”
He grinned up at his partner, though there’s more than a little tinge of bittersweetness in it.
“Can you come down? I… I really need to talk to you.”
His expression sobering, Silvio nodded. Stepping back inside, he closed the window and before long had descended the stairs and rounded the building to meet Kohaku. He reached out to take his hand, eyes gentle and heart twisting. There was something in his partner’s voice that rang with finality.
“Do you want to do this in the parlor or somewhere else?”
“I can come in. If that’s okay.”
He fidgeted, looking down at his sneakers. He rolled his shoulders, making the backpack he wore jostle a bit. Still, he reached back, his hand gripping onto Silvio’s maybe just a little too tight.
This was not going to be easy. If the conversation he had with Adrienne was difficult, this was going to be ten times worse. But he couldn’t avoid it. That would be the most irresponsible decision in a long string of irresponsible decisions.
Silvio squeezed back as Kohaku took his hand. He wasn’t inclined to let it go; wasn’t ready for what was coming.
But you can’t turn back the current; you can only move along with it.
Releasing his grip, Silvio fished his keys out of his pants pocket and flicked through them. Opening up the parlor, he gestured for Kohaku to follow him inside.
“Make yourself comfortable. Is there anything I can get you? Something to drink or eat maybe..?”
“That’s okay. I really… just need to talk to you and the less I have to distract myself the better.”
He closes his eyes, sitting on a chair in the waiting area. It was comfortable, the whole ambience of the shop homey, probably meant to put people at ease. It helped a little.
“The thing is… right after Axton showed up, we had breakfast and you told me that him being here wouldn’t change anything. But the thing is… it has. It’s changed everything, and I think... “
He looked down at his twiddling fingers, teeth worrying at his lower lip.
“...I think it’s mostly my fault.”
“Don’t say that.”
Silvio had a seat in the waiting area across from Kohaku. He reached out to touch his partner’s cheek.
“Listen,” the tattooist said slowly. “If anyone’s to blame here, it’s me. I thought I was doing the right thing. As has been made abundantly clear, I wasn’t; or at least not in the right way. And when everything happened...I figured if we just kept moving forward it would be okay; we’d figure things out as we went. But all of this…? It moved at a pace that was too fast for me to keep up with. I wasn’t...there wasn’t enough kindness or cleverness or...me. I just wasn’t enough to figure this out.”
“No, I should have helped. I have ten thousand years experience. I’m the cleverest creature on earth. If anybody should’ve thought of something it should’ve been me, but… but I didn’t think. I didn’t just come talk to you about all this. I should’ve done that first thing instead of getting into a nuclear dick-waving contest on Twitter and singlehandedly wrecking everything. It was the simplest, most obvious thing. A nurikabe could have thought of it and I didn’t.”
Sighing, he leaned his face into Silvio’s touch. His eyes were screwed shut, and there was a slight tremor under his skin.
“Ten thousand years, huh?” Silvio said with a tiny laugh. “You gotta tell me what your skin care regimen is like, dude.” Shaking his head, he tilted Ko’s face upward to meet his gaze. “There was no, ‘singlehanded,’ anything here. I think we were just caught up in it all. I don’t think any of us expected the...explosion that followed the end of our match at 97. I don’t know how, but I should have done something to help mitigate the damage.” The tremor in Kohaku traveled briefly through Silvio, and before he knew what he was doing, the Oracle had closed the space between them and wrapped his arms around his partner.
“Don’t blame yourself for this.”
He held on tight. He didn’t want to let go.
He knew he had to, though.
“If I had a clearer head, clearer eyes. If I had an ounce of fucking… patience. All ths time, and in the end, I’m still just a dumb impulsive kid. I don’t even have the wisdom to gracefully navigate human relationship issues.”
Silvio gave a little snort before burying his face against Kohaku's neck, letting his hair tickle his face. “Everybody has moments. Nobody’s perfect,” he murmured. Drawing back, he looked Ko in the eyes. “We make mistakes; it’s human nature. We gotta give each other some grace or how are we gonna make it?”
“But…”
He closed his eyes again, taking a deep breath in and letting it out.
“...that’s just it. I’m not… human. And I should have told you earlier. I didn’t lie. I really do have a powerful father who wants me to work under him. But the part I left out is that my father is a Shinto god, and a pretty major one.”
Opening one eye, he gritted his teeth a bit.
“...please don’t think I’m insane.”
For a moment, Silvio just stared openly at Kohaku.
“I...you’re...so you’re...you’re telling me you’re like...a demi-god or something? Sorry, I...or a...kami or..?”
WE TOLD YOU NOT TO TRUST HIM.
Silvio pointedly ignored the voices resonating in his skull and focused on Kohaku.
“You bailed on doing whatever it is your dad wanted you to do...like, godly stuff...to come wrestle in the states?”
“Well, yes and no. To be honest I’ve been drifting around the world for a very long time. This was just the latest thing I decided to do. Turns out I liked it a lot more than I thought I would. I really was thinking of staying here long term. With Carnage. With you.”
He sighed, scratching the back of his head.
“Kitsune, by the way. I’m a kitsune. Progeny of Inari, legendary trickster, all that jazz.”
Silvio lapsed back into staring before snorting and shaking his head. Stepping back from Kohaku, he tried stifling his laughter before failing spectacularly.
“Fucking...of course-!” he gasped. “Of course. Holy shit of course this is how it’d be. Jesus tap dancing Christ.”
His laughter calming, wiping tears from his eyes, Silvio held up a hand, looking contrite.
“Sorry, sorry, this isn’t...me denying you or anything. I don’t think you’re crazy. This is just...it figures. My life has been profoundly weird for the past few years, so, this? This just feels...I dunno, par for the course, I guess.” Sighing, he reached up to squeeze Kohaku’s shoulder. “Kitsune, then. Can’t believe my partner’s a furry,” he teased with a grin.
In spite of himself, Kohaku snickered, whipping off his cap and bowing with a flourish, a pair of russet-furred ears with black tips poking up from under his hair. Somehow it didn’t seem strange- as if the fox ears were supposed to be there, and in comparison it was the human ears that were odd.
“Oh please, if I were a furry I’d be cosplaying as myself. … But yeah, that’s why I never asked for any of your fine work for myself. This skin is just an illusion. Anything you inked on it wouldn’t stay, just a facsimile of it I’d incorporate into the glamour, and I’m no artist so it would just be a disservice to your work.”
Silvio blinked rapidly as he took in his partner’s altered appearance. It was weird wrapping his mind around; like his vision kept going in and out of focus looking at Kohaku. “Jeez it’s like...looking at a Magic Eye poster or something,” he said, shaking his head.
“If it helps, you can touch.”
He held out one hand, the skin rippling and vanishing like a mirage, leaving the same brown-red fur, his now paw-like hand gloved in black with soft pads. His eyes, the same amber golden that they flashed when he was angry, looked at the artist earnestly.
Silvio couldn’t help but let out a surprised little laugh, eyes wide. Hesitating for a moment and meeting Kohaku’s eyes, he lifted his own hands. First he ran his hands through his partner’s hair, thumbs tracing the shape of the vulpine ears to banish any doubt that lingered. He then took each of Kohaku’s hands in his, grinning in spite of himself as he squished the soft pads of his fox-like hands. “I hope you know this is stupidly cute.”
“Flatterer.”
He grinned, pronounced canines flashing. Then he sighed, brow furrowing, ears drooping a little as he looked up, a melancholy look on his face.
“I… guess you might remember, though. What happens in the stories, whenever the guy finds out that his lover’s actually a fox.”
Gaze snapping up to meet Kohaku’s, Silvio shook his head. “Whoa. Hey, now, it’s not like I stumbled upon this on accident or something. Ko, you...you gotta know, I don’t care, right? Listen, I’ve had a lifetime’s worth of weird shit happen to me already. This is a drop in the ocean, comparatively speaking.”
“I know. I know there’s something going on with you. I don’t know what but I could sense it from day one, but I don’t care about that either. This isn’t about you being wrong in any way, or any weird stuff, or capacity to handle said weird stuff. It’s… nnngh.”
He rubbed his temples, sighing.
“It’s how I’ve handled all this. I haven’t got a ton of experience at actually falling in love. Trysts, pfffshht, I’ve had more than I can remember, but the real thing? … I’ve never felt the way I feel about you with anybody. It’s got to be real because I’ve never felt like this, and it’s wonderful. But there’s all this other ugly stuff too, and I can’t be that asshole who holds a relationship hostage because of stupid jealous shit.”
His teeth bit at his lower lip, fingers drumming at his forearms.
“Axton probably hates me anyway. And he’s got good reason to, if I’m gonna be honest. I know you care about him. And I’m not leaving because I’m waving a white flag and saying ‘you win, rockstar’ either, it’s because… I need to handle this better. Like I said, ten thousand years and I still need to grow up. So… I’m going to start by not blowing off my responsibilities anymore.”
“What does that mean?” Silvio asked, reaching out to grip his shoulders. “Are you...you’re going to leave?” His stomach flipped and he felt his pulse thrumming in his head. “Ko, c’mon. I know we can figure this out.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “You’re not going to just leave forever, are you?”
It would serve you right if he did. Get a taste of your own medicine.
“I would… but I’m not that masochistic. I know me. I’d miss you too much and if I just split and that was it I’d be back here in a week tops and have learned absolutely nothing, and this whole cycle starts up again. I refuse to let you be the rope in a game of tug of war between two people who just aren’t compatible. That’s why I’m leaving- so that I can come back someday wiser, able to deal with this with more grace, and maybe give Mister Famous Musician a little time to stop thinking I’m the worst person ever to be born so we can possibly coexist without sniping at each other. He… doesn’t deserve that, but moreso, neither do you.”
He gives another bite at his lip, yelping a bit as he nips a little too hard.
“...I’ll write. Actual letters, not digital stuff. And I can get it to you quicker than the post.”
“You’ll be back, though. When...when you feel like you’re ready?”
He wasn’t going to stop Kohaku. If this is what his partner felt he needed to grow, Silvio wasn’t going to hold him back for his own selfish reasons. It didn’t take the edge off the knife working its way deeper into his heart, but it could make the pain bearable if he knew this wasn’t the last time they’d see each other.
“I will. I promise. I know my kind ain’t exactly renowned for our honesty but, like I said. I love you too much to cut you out of my life completely, and if you want something from me, anything at all, as proof that I’ll come back? Ask for it.”
Holding his hands out, empty and open, Kohaku gave a sheepish sort of smile. He didn’t have terribly much to give, considering, but anything he could, he would.
“Ko, c’mon, dude.” Silvio smiled and leaned in, taking Kohaku’s hands and resting his forehead against the kitsune’s. “If you say you will, I believe you. I trust you.”
“Thank you.”
Closing his eyes, he leaned forward, kissing Silvio full on the mouth. There was a sudden warmth, the shimmer of a dissipating mirage, and what was left when Kohaku pulled back was a glorious figure, depicted in myths and sometimes the artworks of lovestruck manga-ka. His hair fell down to his waist, ears rising up as if they were part of it. His eyes were golden, his clothes given way to robes in autumnal browns, oranges, and golds, and from behind, five bushy fox’s tails waved slightly as if in an invisible breeze.
“I trust and believe in you, too.”
Silvio allowed himself time to savor the kiss, drawing back at the rush of heat against his lips. Blinking dazedly, his eyes widened and his jaw dropped as he took in the sight of Kohaku; fiery and resplendent as an Autumn maple with the sun blazing behind it. He was a bonfire cackling out ghost stories as it licked upward at a starry Summer sky. He was the deep red and golden heart of tsubaki blooms laying stark against Winter snow. He was magnolia blossoms, rosy and fragrant against an early Spring sky.
“Oh...wow…” was all Silvio could manage, knees beginning to feel wobbly beneath him.
“Oh geez, don’t pass out…”
Seeing an awkward-panicky look on the face of an obvious demigod was so out of place it was bound to result in a chuckle. Diving forward, he steadied Silvio, the fur on his ears and tails fluffing out in sudden alarm.
“I’m sorry, is this too much? I just wanted to show you once before I left. Damn me and my flair for the dramatic.”
“Sorry-! Sorry,” Silvio laughed, holding Kohaku’s arms to steady himself. “I’m just...you’re...incandescent, Ko. You hear stories about faeries and ancient nymphs that were too beautiful to look at, and...you never really know what that would be like until…” He smiled up at him. “You’re an experience. A whole new perspective. It’s like being shown a whole new dimension of looking at things; I feel like a 2D person seeing 3D for the first time.”
“Oh, shucks. You really are a flatterer. That’s my job, I’ll have you know.”
Laughing, he gave Silvio another kiss, then stepped back, sighing once more, tails drooping a little.
“I… should probably head out before I lose my nerve. Do me a favor while I’m gone? I left Ade my place along with the frankly ridiculous rent I ‘negotiated’, but I feel bad about leaving her there by herself in a new city. Could you check up on her now and then for me?”
“I will.” Silvio felt himself sway forward briefly as Kohaku stepped back, his heart sinking. Swallowing around a lump in his throat, his brow knit and the words came out before he could stop them. “If you change your mind about this, you know you’re always welcome back any time. I got the big guy sleeping on my couch, but I’ve never minded having a full house.”
“Nah, that’s a pretty big housemate. I’ll probably move back into my old place with Ade when I come back, if she’ll be cool enough to let a friend occupy her couch. … I’m not gonna lie, it’s probably gonna be a minute before I’m back. Got a lot to learn, being all responsible and carrying out divine edicts and shit. But hey, there’s the perk of nice humans leaving all the fried tofu I can eat at the shrines, so… yay?”
Shifting his backpack onto his shoulders, he melted back into the guise of a normal human, slipping his cap back onto his head.
“Take care and be good, okay? I love you. I’m serious, I’ll write. You’ll be up to your neck in correspondence.”
Silvio took an involuntary step forward as Kohaku’s appearance shifted again.
“You’d better, fox boy,” he laughed, a slight hitch in his voice. “Don’t wanna have to come to Japan and cause an international incident or anything.” Sighing, the artist met Kohaku’s eyes, luminous and amber. “I love you, Ko. Don’t go forgetting me or anything.” He reached up to touch his chest just over his heart, smiling sadly. “I’ll keep a candle in the window.”
“And I’ll be looking for it when I return.”
Twisting his cap around, he kissed Silvio one more time before backing away, heading toward the door, pausing in the frame.
“...wait. Sil. Do you have an empty glass bottle with a cap or a stopper?”
Silvio nodded. “Gimme a sec.” Turning, he disappeared into the back, coming back a moment later with a decorative bottle he was tapping the last of some colored beads out of. “Think I got ‘em all. Is a cork stopper okay?”
“Should be. Ordinarily I’d say no, but this is magical… oh, hang on, I’ll just show you.”
Taking the bottle, he deftly uncorked it with nimble fingers, setting the cork aside. Holding the bottle lengthwise with one hand, with the other he conjured a spark- a flicker of blue flame tipped with orange, that with a firm blow, zipped into the bottle, the cork jammed quickly into place.
Holding it upright, Kohaku nodded- the bit of foxfire danced in the center of the reservoir, staying well clear of the neck and flammable cork. Handing the bottle back, Silvio would find the glass warm to the touch, but not so much so that he’d find handling it uncomfortable.
“Whoa-!” Jaw dropping, Silvio took the bottle offered to him. For a moment he stared at it, entranced with the way the little flame flickered and danced in the bottle. Grinning, he looked up at Kohaku, eyes glittering. “That’s amazing!”
“A little memento. It ought to keep as long as you don’t uncork the bottle. It should be safe to handle but I’d avoid turning it upside down. For… obvious reasons. That’d be a heck of a thing to explain to the fire department.”
Chuckling, he sighed, but the smile remained earnest on his face.
“Keep my light safe until we meet again, Silvio Leon. Ja matta ne.”
Blowing one last kiss, he slipped out the door. The little flame in the bottle continued to flicker merrily.
Holding the bottle a little tighter, Silvio watched Kohaku’s departing figure, a bittersweet sensation twisting in his heart. He knew what the words meant, though, and he understood their promise.
“...See you later.”
A dawn farewell is always drenched in dew,
But sad is the autumn sky as never before.
An autumn farewell needs nothing to make it sadder.
Enough of your songs, O crickets on the moors!
[/b], Murasaki Shikibu[/ul][/div]But sad is the autumn sky as never before.
An autumn farewell needs nothing to make it sadder.
Enough of your songs, O crickets on the moors!