Post by mystifyingoracle on Sept 18, 2020 16:55:25 GMT -5
OOC: CD done in collaboration with Lab Rat King's handler! A pleasure, as always.
Lab Rat Confessional
“You are ruining my life, you know that?”
Silvio paced in his room, sighing and heaving his phone against his bed.
WE DO NOT THINK THAT IS THE CASE. PERHAPS IF YOU WERE HONEST WITH THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE, THIS WOULD NOT HAPPEN.
“I am not telling people about you!”
The Oracle was growing increasingly certain that Twitter had slithered out of Satan’s anus and into the world to create havoc. Kohaku and Axton sniping at each other was causing the last of his nerves to fray, and it was the last thing he needed with everything else going on at Carnage.
And have you asked Silvio how he feels about this idea?
Perhaps I should. Maybe he feels differently.
HE IS JEALOUS.
“Nuh-uh. I don’t fuck around with jealousy. You already act like you own me. I don’t need that in my relationships, too. And he said he’d-”
WE WOULD NOT BE SO QUICK TO BELIEVE EVERYTHING THE FOX BOY SAYS, IF WE WERE YOU.
Silvio’s eyes narrowed.
“And what is that supposed to mean?”
“Hey.”
So involved was Silvio in his debate that the broad shadow of the Lab Rat King went unnoticed; he was leaning in the doorway, eating a whole pineapple easily held in one broad hand, chewing contemplatively as he peered into the room.
“Who’re you talking to, kid?”
Silvio snapped around, eyes wide, gaping at Zane.
Fuck.
“Wow, uh...that’s...one way to get your roughage.”
“I like the skin. It’s chewy,” Zane replied, taking another bite of the whole fruit prior to speaking with his mouth full. “Mmh. But seriously, who’re you talking to?”
Fuck.
“Nobody. I’m just doing some brainstorming for a promo. I have off this time around and I figured I’d put together a video package or something for 99.”
“Silvio, do you have a middle name?” Kane swallowed the bite of fruit. “I need my next words to sound more stern.”
F U C K.
“I never should have told you you have big dad energy,” he groaned, drawing a hand down over his face. “Would you believe me if I said I was practicing for a play?”
“Silvio Middle-name Leon.” King sighed. “You are. The worst liar. I have ever met.”
HOLY SHIT. WE CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WERE THE ONE THAT BLEW YOUR OWN COVER.
The Oracle couldn’t stop himself from making a face at that comment, frowning. Running his hands through his hair and shaking his head, he heaved a sigh.
OH WAIT, YES WE CAN.
“...Okay, you know what? Fine. You’re not going to believe what I have to say anyway. Let’s just...I want a drink or something if we’re going to talk about this. I feel like I’ve been emotionally flayed over the course of these past couple weeks, so why not? This might as well happen.”
Heat rose in his face; half out of frustration, half out of shame.
King’s expression remained soft, taking on an edge of sympathy. He gestured for Silvio to follow. “Come sit in the living room, kid. I’ll make you something. What do you want?”
He started to open his mouth to reply, but stopped.
“Dark and stormy, just like your eyes, sweetheart.”
“Jack and ginger,” he sighed. “Thanks.”
Posture slumped in defeat, he walked out to the living room, feeling only a little better than ambulatory dead meat.
King came into the living room shortly thereafter with Silvio’s drink in hand, including crushed ice, sitting down on the armchair while cracking open a cold beer for himself.
“So… what is this thing I’m not gonna believe?”
Taking the drink gratefully, Silvio held up one hand, and used the other to lift the glass to his lips. He drained its contents in several long sips before setting the glass down with only ice remaining. Drawing in a deep breath and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he tried to ignore the phantom pain radiating from the scars that dotted his torso.
“...I’m a failed ritual sacrifice to a chaos god made by a cult of suburban jack-offs. Happened about six years ago. Ever since then, I’ve had that cosmic horror fuck riding shotgun in my head, trying to make them happy by...I guess you’d call it proselytizing on their behalf.”
He snorted, shaking his head, feeling the whiskey warming throat and loosening his inhibitions.
“That’s who I was talking to. That's why you’re lucid around me. Big Boss Spookitude is...I guess I’d call it, ‘eating,’ your instability.”
Sitting back on the sofa, he gave Zane a tight smile, spreading his arms as if inviting the same incredulous response he’d gotten from Knox.
King was silent for a long moment, musing over the lip of his drink. After a few beats, his brow knit, he nodded, slowly.
“So like an H.P. Lovecraft sort of thing?” He rubbed at his jaw. “That explains why I'm only lucid around you… When you're nearby, it's like the Big Guy’s grip on the wheel gets weaker and I can take over. I guess that's why he gets so quiet. This thing isn't hurting you physically, is it?”
For a long moment, Silvio just stared openly at Zane.
“...Wait, you don’t think I’m full of shit?”
“No?”
King shook his head, sipping from the can.
“That's the first explanation I've heard of what happens when you're around that makes sense. And I'm not exactly a prime example of ‘normal’ myself, kid. You're talking to a man with a body wrong in so many ways that if they found me in a ditch one night there'd be a new cryptid in Maryland.”
Zane believing him was a shock in and of itself. What was an even greater surprise, though, was the sudden flood of relief that washed over Silvio. Unbidden and unexpected, he felt his throat tighten and his eyes begin to sting, threatening tears. In spite of himself, a breathless, broken little laugh escaped him and he shook his head, wrapping his arms around himself.
“Please, you’re not...you’re serious, right? Do not fuck with me here.”
There was an unexpectedly defensive edge to his words that provided a sharply barbed yet thin shield over an old wound freshly bleeding again.
Immediately recognizing the vulnerability, Zane set his drink down, looking him in the eyes.
“I believe you, Silvio. I've seen some shit. It's made me realize that maybe there's a lot more going on in the world than we know about. If there's something riding shotgun in your head, that's actually something I can relate to, believe it or not.”
Silvio’s breath hitched, making a little, hiccuping sound that was half-laugh, half-sob. His scars gave a fierce throb of phantom pain that made him double over in his seat, head foggy with whiskey and a relief so profound it seemed bigger than his body.
Had it always been this heavy? Had he just not noticed its weight until it was shed?
He wanted to thank Zane. He wanted to say something, but he found himself unable to grasp any word he’d ever learned; washed away from him in a surge of catharsis. When the tears came, he had neither the will nor the desire to stop them; just the strength to let them flow and an overwhelming feeling of gratitude.
Zane hesitated only a moment before moving; he stood up slowly, relocating himself to sit down on the couch beside Silvio instead. He slowly wrapped one massive arm around the smaller man’s shoulders, resting his hand on the opposite one with a reassuring squeeze.
“... That bad, huh?” His low voice was even softer, like he was sharing a personal secret. “I get it. It’s alright… it catches up with you sometimes. It gets lonely.”
Slumping against Zane, Silvio shuddered head to toe. With everything happening - Axton and Kohaku fighting on social media and in the ring, the upheaval at Carnage, the upcoming title match - all the good and bad swirling around him, he’d not really had the time to acknowledge just how it was affecting him. He’d just been trying to move forward and hope that momentum would be enough; that solutions would come about somehow as he walked on.
“I...never…” he managed between gasps. “Never had...anybody believe me.”
Zane seemed perfectly fine with being Silvio’s rock in that moment; he took deep, steady breaths, ensuring he was something stable and calming to lean on. As far as he was concerned, everybody needed support sometimes--no matter how brave they seemed on the outside.
“It sounds pretty crazy,” Zane rumbled, gently rubbing Silvio’s shoulder, “but so do I. I think it’d be kind of stupid to dismiss it, all things considered.”
That elicited a tearful laugh from the Oracle, and he sat up a little straighter, scrubbing at his eyes. “Fucking Christ, Zane,” he snorted, nudging the bigger man. Under the influence of Spooky’s little madness feasts, the Lab Rat King looked almost elemental; neon and liquid amethyst poured into the shape of a person. Maybe telling him about the weird entity he was linked to made that entity stronger, but in the moment, Silvio didn’t care.
“Made you laugh,” Zane said, a faint smirk on his face.
Relaxing, Silvio sighed, sitting up again and shaking his head. “Thank you. I’m feeling...lately there’s just so much happening. Even the good stuff. It’s all interconnected and it’s all a lot to bear up sometimes.”
Letting out a shivery exhalation, he turned red-rimmed eyes up to meet Zane’s.
“What the Hell am I going to do?”
The mutant inhaled deeply, letting it out nice and slow. His amber eyes were distant in a moment of deep thought.
“Start slow,” he said at last, looking down at him. “Start with the little things you can change right away. The whole Tentacle God or whatever thing is a big thing, but you don’t start carving a roast from the bone. Start small and work your way in. Maybe start with the ways you can fix up a support system for yourself. I’m assuming some of this stress is coming from your friends and their problems, right?” King leaned forward a bit to get a better look at him. “Can you zoom in a bit here and think about just one of those problems and how you could make it better? Then at least you’ll have some allies to tackle the big stuff later.”
Silvio nodded, regathering himself. “This whole...Christ, this whole thing with Axton is because of the spooky bastard. They...feed on spectacle. On madness. Pro-wrestling was kind of a perfect venue. People in tight pants throwing each other through fiery tables in front of people for the sake of a shiny belt. Perfect little Mass of Madness, right? So, that’s why I got into this in the first place. But when it...compelled me to do this? I was afraid of what might happen to the people who watched; who were present. I couldn’t let my friends and loved ones get hurt. I figured, ‘minimize the damage,’ right? Cut and run and keep the people that mattered safe.”
Shaking his head, he sighed.
“Fucking stupid move, as it turned out. That’s what I meant the other night; about keeping Axton safe. I just...don’t know what I would do if someone got hurt because of me. I…”
His hand itched fiercely.
Wet and writhing and alive beneath his touch, his fingers grazed rubbery lips and teeth instead of concrete.
Fleshy walls convulsing, the entire room drew in a breath with its dozen mouths. Voices that had previously chanted to usher in chaos sang out revelation in a different chorus.
“...When that...thing...got a hold of me? It disposed of the people that offered me up as a sacrifice. It unmade them. The thought of that...happening to someone I loved?”
He shook his head, eyes distant and haunted.
“I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”
Again, Zane was quiet. He only nodded at first, taking it in. From the look in his eyes, it was clear he could sympathize with that fear.
“... I know what you mean… about being afraid to hurt people. If I ever find the people from my old life, and the Big Guy tried to hurt them… well.”
He sighed, shaking his head.
“So you did a cut and run on this guy to protect him. There’s no way he could’ve known the real reason, and obviously it’s not easy to explain… and no one else knows this guy well enough to recognize that he’s really hurt by what happened. Just you.”
“Yeah,” Silvio said, rubbing one temple. “Basically what I did to Axton was the thing that was most painful to him. He has a lot of issues with neglect and abandonment. And I knew that when I did it, but I just...couldn’t chance letting him get hurt in a way no one could fix.” Sitting back on the sofa, he stared at the ceiling. “I’ve missed him. I’ve missed him so much. And now he’s here, Ko’s furious with him...Hell, all of my friends seem furious with him. And I just...want things to hold still for a minute.”
The mutant sighed through his nose, empathizing with Silvio’s frustration. He couldn’t help but think of how it felt to be trapped in his own skull, unable to make right the things that his defensive alter ego did wrong.
“I noticed you’ve been quiet about the whole thing,” he said, looking at him sidelong. He offered another comfort squeeze to the upper arm. “Maybe that’s a good idea, not to drag all of this out into the public eye. But I think you need to tell your friends that you don’t need them to go to bat for you. I don’t think it’s any different than miss Levi. I think you need to handle this yourself so it moves at your pace, on your terms... Maybe ask them to back off for a bit so you can sort things out. They probably don’t even realize their anger is making things worse for you.”
“Probably. I mean, no one...has really asked me how to deal with this. I appreciate the intent behind closing ranks and being upset about what happened - I’m upset about it, too. And to be fair, Axton did threaten to fight everyone, so they have a right to respond to that. But he’s doing it in the ring - where the fighting is supposed to happen.”
He smiled ruefully.
“It’s weird. One of the things that always hurt the most when I was growing up was having to fight my battles alone; no back up. Now I have a bunch of people willing to literally kick the crap out of someone who sucker punched me and planted my head on the canvas.”
Shaking his head, he stared into the middle distance for a moment.
“We need to talk. I just don’t know if Ko or Axton is willing to right now.”
Zane grunted, musing aloud for a moment. “Yeah… that’s something I don’t get. Sure, he threatened to fight all your friends… but in the ring… in a wrestling circuit. That’s just how we settle things in this business. I just thought he was playing by the rules like everybody else… no idea why they’re acting like he’s gonna knife them in a parking lot.” A soft snort. “Not like I could voice my damn opinion though.”
Looking down at Silvio once more, he looked thoughtful a moment, drumming his fingers on his own lap.
“Won’t know unless you try. But if you ask me, anyone who decides your business is their business without even asking for your input is doing you dirty. I think they gotta know that.”
“I mean, like I said, it is technically also their business since Axton did threaten the friends I’ve made. Regardless, I have to talk to him and Ko, at the very least. God, he’s fighting Adrienne this time around, which is completely backwards. She’s the one person who actually likes Ax.”
“Well, keep an eye on how he treats her,” Zane suggested, shrugging. “I think it’s a lot more telling of someone’s character how they approach a conflict with someone they like, even if it’s in the ropes.”
King rolled his shoulders, making several audible snaps, sighing as he let them relax. “Well. I think that’s a good place to start… getting your support sorted. Once that’s squared away, then maybe we move on to the deeper cuts. Sound good?”
“Heh…”
Silvio recalled saying those last two words in a diner, seemingly a lifetime ago.
“Sounds good.”