Post by Deleted on Aug 27, 2020 23:07:47 GMT -5
Adrienne Straussler looked forlornly at the occupied lunch table from across the room. She’d be too embarrassed to approach them anyhow. The smile. Long flowing strawberry blonde hair. Deep blue eyes. This strange feeling in the pit of Adrienne’s stomach made her feel different. She’d been a ghost mostly in her first eighteen months at Clearwater High School so it wasn’t like it mattered. Her crush had never said a word to her before so instead she’d observe from a table in the back of the lunch room. Trying to summon the courage to even approach her. To even approach what she'd been wondering about for the past few years. She dipped a fry into a little cup of ketchup and nibbled absently.
The indistinguishable chatter of fellow students became momentarily clear, “...twenty bucks? You’re on.”
Suddenly, a boy obscured her normal viewing. He had slicked back dark hair, wide dark eyes, and a slight even arrogant looking grin. His letterman jacket indicated he was part of the wrestling team and so were his friends - who were doing a poor job hiding their mockery. During first period, she tripped over a chair leg and made a racket in the back of Mrs. Hooper’s classroom. Or maybe it was the black and white striped sweater she was wearing. She liked it but she’d heard murmurs that she was the World’s Dorkiest Prison Inmate. Better than the usual cruelty about her teeth or her height. However, this one wasn’t laughing. He spoke in a friendly manner, “Hey. You’re Adrienne, right?”
She tried to avert her eyes but he stayed in view. He was a senior so she wasn’t sure about the sudden bout of attention.
“Yeah.”
“I’m Danny.”
Adrienne adjusted her glasses back onto the bridge of her nose to put Danny in focus. The both of them shared eye contact for an extended period of time. His glare was unwavering but seemed to be reassessing this situation. Danny’s friends seemed to be getting inpatient as they glared at Danny as if he was wasting their collective time.
“What are you doing for the dance? Just two weeks from now, you know? Figured you’d be like everyone else and getting ready for it.”
“I’m not sure,” she mumbled. Maybe rent the Labyrinth from Blockbuster again.
“So you’re not going?”
One of them behind Danny couldn’t contain their snickering. Danny shot them both an accusing glare and turned back to the sophomore.
“Would you like to?” He put a hand across the table towards her. This was the first time someone besides her mother had asked her what she wanted to do. His smile wasn’t arrogant at all. It was warm and inviting.
Trying to think of every excuse in the world to not break her routine, she instead surrendered with a meek acceptance, “Yes.”
Everyone, including her mother, had made it clear that it was time to move on. It perhaps made Adrienne a little angry. Like she didn’t know. Like she didn’t know that Danny Levi ...wasn’t the best person. It’s why she let him go. It’s why she suffered through months and months of questions and suspicion. Telling what happened dozens and dozens of times.
One day, she was no longer a subject of interest. She wasn’t keen on medical terminology but the coroner concluded that Daniel Levi would have passed before any aid could have been rendered. Something about a myocardial rupture as a result of his heart attack.
What those that were concerned and maybe even revelled in Danny’s passing didn’t realize is that Adrienne didn’t want to join them in that sort of macabre celebration. All contention to this mindset was perilous. Adrienne knew this was the wrong way. For all she had managed since he had passed, she’d been swimming against the current. Silvio hadn’t been the first person to tell her to start living for herself.
“I’m trying!”
Her sudden outburst was at noone in particular. In the stillness of the night, Adrienne stood barefoot, ankle deep in the waters at Clearwater Beach. It had been a long day. Tomorrow she would have to shift her mindset and body towards what could possibly be the biggest match of her upstart career. Eli Goode was a proven commodity in this company and would most likely pull all stops to regain momentum. But today. Today was about leaving Danny Levi behind.
It had been easy enough to go through her cell phone and delete all of the pictures. Even the candid ones where he was smiled just for her. It was easy to box up his old clothes and belongings - his scent no longer lingered. Was easy to bundle up all of the gimmicks and wrestling merchandise he’d never sold. Not much of a challenge even for that eyesore of a championship belt Danny custom ordered just to celebrate his greatest achievement. All of that went to the dumpster before noon.
“...I’m trying,” she repeated softly.
Taking a deep breath, she waded further into the ocean.
“Danny,” her voice quivered as she said his name, “lots of folks are glad you’re gone. I never felt that way.”
Adrienne wasn’t sure what she was trying to accomplish. She knew she wasn’t speaking to his spirit or anything like that. She knew that she wouldn’t receive some other worldly response. But that was on par when he was even around. Danny liked to talk. Just not to her.
“I don’t think you ever loved me. I … don’t know what I was for you. You never told me. I know what you never wanted me to be.” Pausing, she resumed with a little more assertiveness in her voice. “I’m doing it now, Danny. I haven’t done much but I really like it. I don’t think you ever liked the business. I think it was all you thought you were capable of. You were smart. So smart but you always cut corners. Always looking for someone to dupe.”
She was waist deep now. The waves rushed up to meet her chest high, soaking her black t-shirt completely.
“You duped me. You stole my innocence from me. And if that wasn’t enough, you betrayed me. That’d be enough for me to hate you. I don’t. I just … want to be done with you. I don’t know what I would have been without you. But I want to find out.”
Danny Levi’s widow brought up her left hand, placing it in her right. Her fingers touched the gold wedding band.
“I’m not leaving you behind because of mom saying so. Or because of my friends. It’s because I don’t think I loved you either. Or if I did … not anymore. You’re part of a past that I can’t afford to live in anymore.”
The ring came off easy enough but it felt heavy in her palm. If she were in a world of fantasy, surely the ring would be speaking to her. But it didn’t. It was an inanimate object she’d worn on her ring finger since she was nineteen years old. It was a ring that Danny had purchased as an afterthought at the jewelry department at the local Walmart, not that she was about material things but it wasn’t even the right size at first. She didn’t want the world. She just wanted to be a part of it.
Tilting her hand, she watched the ring slide from her palm. Anticlimactically, it dropped into the ocean with a small plunk. For a moment, the moonlight showed the band just below the surface before the darkness swallowed it up.
“Goodbye, Danny.”