Post by Steve Matthews on Aug 8, 2020 8:58:59 GMT -5
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Quitting Is Not Acceptable.
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“Freeing yourself was one thing, claiming ownership of that freed self was another.” - Toni Morrison
***
Getting married was such a clusterfuck of chaos. The planning. The preparation. The invitations. The actual process and the reception. Just a huge mess of figuring stuff out that would eventually lead to one of the largest nerve wrecking experiences ever felt in one of the biggest groups of people you'd be placed in front of, next to your funeral. It's true and you know I'm right. If you think about all those people who attended your wedding; assuming you're married of course, well...then you should know those are the same people who will feel obligated to show up for your funeral. The only difference is...none of them have to feel they need to make that awkward apology to you if they fail to show up. So in that effect, realistically speaking....only half or maybe less, will actually appear on that day you make that final showing before you're carted off to take up space under the earth. Or burnt to ash destined to sit inside a tin someone feels compelled to keep. I wonder who'll end up with a tin full of Steve Matthews? Huh? I feel like my thought train is rolling off track. My point is this. That whole big mass of confusion and turmoil that you experience before that big moment you say - I do, to the one you love. Is completely the opposite of ending that marriage. An epic 180 spin and suddenly you're struck with the simplicity of ending something that was started with such chaos. Good chaos, but still chaos nonetheless.
Yeah, I know. Big shocking revelation there. I suppose if I were a better man or if me and my ex-wife were more spiteful and vindictive, we probably would have drawn it out longer. But that wasn't the case. She simply fell out of love with me when I wasn't paying attention and busy being a professional and personal asshole, as much as that pains me to think and as annoyed, angry and all around generally hurt that makes me feel...I just wanted to get the process over. No need to drag the whole thing out and make it completely gruelling and unbearable. There wasn't a point in that. So I rushed through the paper work and signed where I had to sign and that was it. Years of marriage ended in a few strokes of a pen. Many years of spending my life with a single person and all that commitment and memories attached, and it was over in less time than it took to file my taxes.
Which was sad and yeah, it was depressing, but really it also left this blatant and obvious question towering over me. A question you aren't prepared for and yet if you're ever placed in this situation, you can't help but ask yourself it. Something that even if you grew up in a broken home; which I unfortunately also did, doesn't give you that answer to fill in the blank, when you...yourself, are hit with this question. That question that may take a while to hit you as it has me, or like others...it'll hit you as soon as you take that first step outside your lawyer's office after signing a sea of divorce papers. The question of course being...
Now what?
Yeah that's right. Now what? As in...now what the fuck am I going to do? What happens beyond this point? What do I do now that a huge chunk of what I became used to and accepted as a major part of my everyday life, isn't a factor anymore? You get so wrapped up in the security and safety of a certain way of living and existing...that a drastic change like a divorce can shake your mental faculties to their very core. I mean that was part of my world. I had gotten married young and before you roll your eyes and think how stupid and cliché it was...you know what, I really don't give a shit. Roll your eyes all you want. It was stupid. I was an idiot for believing I could have found the person I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with, at such a young age...and then marry her so soon after. I should have thought it through better. It's not like we were forced into it. But yet there I foolishly was, assuming I found the one and tying the not. Then it was time to wrestle for a living and save up till I bought a house. Which was a lot quicker than I anticipated, since my wife's father was also a realtor. So for many years that's what I came home to. A simple life with a wife and I was happy with that. I was content. Then everything changed.
I suppose it all started with quitting in a simple wrestling match. It ate away at me and I became a different animal. That day Steve Matthews went from nice guy and became Steve Matthews the asshole. After that change, came my wife pleading for me to stop fighting, she pleaded for me to be the man I used to be, she begged me to think of others, without uttering words I carried on and clearly said no to her requests! That was what did it. The straw that broke the camel's back and what lead to my divorce. Sure, there were a lot of other deep rooted issues, but that selfish behaviour was what set them all off at once so to speak. What launched the concept of separation into motion. And now, I'm a thirty-nine year old divorced professional wrestler questioning what the fuck I am going to do now that I had a large chunk of my life wiped away and it's finally hitting me hard. Shouldn't I be a much older man coming to this juncture? Maybe with a herniated disk and a lot less hair? Why was I at this point at thirty-nine? Oh that's right...I was an idiot who got married too young and quit on way too many things over time.
Yeah, I think it's about time to dilute my brain with alcohol.
***
It is a couple of days after chaos and Matthews has yet to go home. He has spent the last couple of days hanging out in Tampa with best friend Jessica Green, enjoying some time to clear his head and to start the process of refocusing his mind and his body. The events to come are going to be interesting. He was most definitely surprised when Winter chose an I Quit match.
Currently Matthews is sitting on the beach and looking out at the ocean, taking in the scenery. He smiles as he knows the camera is rolling. He was called about doing a promo and surprised the production crew when he said he was all the way down in Tampa. They sent the crew down pretty quickly anyway to be fair. He guesses they must want to throw his promo up quickly so everyone forgets about it and worries about the so called bigger matches. “It’s been a long couple of days of reflection here in Tampa. While everyone else has gone home, revelling in either the success or pain that was chaos 96, I sit here and wonder what’s next. I wonder where does my career go from here. I can’t help but shake the feeling that I’m at a crossroads here. This past chaos was a moment in my wrestling history that I can be proud of, my first carnage win.”
Matthews half smiles with some disappointment in his eyes. “With that said I still lost control of my emotions at chaos and I know that’s something everyone is going to want to talk about. I’ve had people tell me that approaching Winter wasn’t worth it because he won't change and interacting with him will only ever bring out the worst in me. They seem to say I've left myself in a terrible position but to them I say this. I’ve wandered around here in Tampa trying to figure out what to do next but then it dawned on me as I looked out into this ocean. I can’t really do anything but show up to WAR, ready to fight and do my best for all of you. If I spend too much time over analysing this then I’m going to drive myself insane and I might as well be ready to quit before I start.”
He takes a deep breath. “You see focus is one of the most underrated traits a wrestler can have. Any lack of focus can cause you to slip up and one slip up is all it takes to lose a match. That’s why I know I need to block this all out and be focused on this match, and this match alone. If I’m focused then I should win. Why? Because my opponent is clearly worried about other things than just his wrestling career.”
“Since day one Alex Winter has been more focused on being flashy and having a big mouth than winning and rising up the card. Actually I take that back. He wants to rise up the card but he doesn’t want to do it by winning. He wants to do it by blasting out excuses and upsetting people more relevant than himself, To that I just sit back and laugh.”
Matthews looks in the camera. “You’ve got to be more than that Alex. You’ve got to have talent and you’ve got to have the will to persevere when things get you down. You have to be solid mentally and I believe you’re not. I saw it when Levi beat you on our debut. I also saw it in your eyes when I approached you at chaos.”
Matthews shrugs. “You’re a classic person that wants everything but not if it’s going to be tough to get it. You have to bring it every week. You can’t handle that pressure. You already know that I'm a better wrestler and a harder worker. I see right through that fake bravado of yours and if you need someone to blame when everything doesn’t go your way at WAR I accept it! That defeat on your record will be my fault.”
Matthews sneers. “However if everything that happens to you is someone else's fault and you can't take responsibility. Why are you even here? If like some others in carnage you need to turn this into some stupid dramatic tv show in order to get noticed instead of concentrating on wrestling. I will not stand for it!”
“You’ve given me everything I’ve expected since day one. You’ve given me nothing but annoyance and wonder about why you’re here. You’re pathetic and you will quit due to a lack of heart.”
Matthews stands up and starts to walk along the beach. “I’m not going to say I’m the best. But I want to fight those that want to be and that’s why I wish this was a one on one match with someone like Matt Knox, Mac Bane, Amber Ryan, or even Jon Willis. But I'm not that lucky. Maybe one day I will be. Until then I must play with the hand I’ve been dealt. Quick side note while I mention him, I heard what you said Willis and all I can say is name a date, one on one, we will fight for honour and respect, hand shake to start, hand shake and beer to finish.”
Matthews smiles. “Back to Winter, I do have some advice to impart on you though Alex. You see I’ve gone to war in I quit matches before and I know what it’s like in the aftermath. I know what it can do to your psyche to say those words and the mental rigors it will put you through. I can see it in you now. I see the the false bravado and I see the front that comes with it. Don’t make my mistakes Alex. Don’t let this upcoming defeat affect your whole career in the time to follow. Take the time this week to delve deeply into your soul and try to find something because you need too, and you need to be ready to roll into WAR with a different frame of mind to any you have shown us so far. I want you to turn up and prove to me your bollocks are not as small as your brain because I will never utter the words "I Quit" in competition ever again!”
“If you want to be the man Alex. If you want to be a leader of men. If you want to be a workhorse, you have to find more inside yourself than just an ego and blame! You and I both know fans line up at the exits for autographs and pictures when the show ends and when you aren’t there, well you look pompous and like a douche. I can say this because I used to be that guy. I used to be the guy that hustled out to get away and the guy that thought only my match mattered. It took some time but I've realized everything matters. These people, the guys backstage, the other wrestlers matter. Take that all into account whilst looking into the remnants of your shattered being as you try to recover from saying "I Quit" in front of the whole world.”
Matthews stops and puts one finger up. “I do have one other thing that I forgot but is the most important. You need to remember in the large span of things you haven’t done shit yet that anyone cares about. This is gonna be tough Alex but it’s for your own good. In the grand scheme of things you still have no big wins on your resume. So why am I giving you all this advice?”
Matthews shrugs. “Because I have been and still am you. I've been in this business a long time and a good few years ago it was supposed to be the beginning of my coming out party. Instead here I am many years later with a really good resume BUT I’m still one step away from winning the match that cements me as a top tier player. Sure I’ve been a World Champion but I still haven’t ever been seen anywhere as the man because of my attitude. I’m still searching for my moment. Understand that you don’t want to be me. You can go from prospect on the rise to the guy that can’t win the big one in a second. Take advantage of your opportunities and take every night seriously. You are throwing it all away for no reason other than you can't get beyond your immature attitude.”
Matthews expression turns serious. “You can bet that I’m taking this seriously. This match is a tone setter for the rest of our time in carnage. The winner of this match is going to ride a wave of momentum that can lead to bigger and better things. The loser is going to continue to slide down the mountain and have to work even harder to get noticed. I know exactly what’s on the line. The question is if you do. I have seen you constantly be distracted by other things and don’t think I won’t capitalize. I have dreamed about being the Champion and centrepiece here in carnage, I’m going to do whatever it takes to make that happen. I don’t care if I have to fight every night to make that happen. I am going to get noticed for the work that I put in and the people I put down. I know that many like to make fun of my new attitude and even say that I’ve gone soft. Hell I heard a fan say I’m too nice. Well know this. The shit talking and ass kicking Steve Matthews is still in here. I may be nice but I’m not afraid to show that nice guys can finish first. You are going to see just that Alex.”
Matthews stops and looks out at the ocean once more. “This is going to be another test for me. I’m damn sure looking forward to the opportunity and I’m more motivated than ever to prove to everyone that I’m Steve Matthews and I’m not going anywhere!”
Matthews walks out of picture as the camera fades on the water crashing together.
Post by Alex Winter on Aug 10, 2020 3:45:17 GMT -5
:: The Awaken ::
“The most powerful force on the planet is the soul that has awakened to its purpose.” - L.R.
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We can see the young sixteen year old Alex Winter in a three piece black suit with a white shirt and black tie. He is surrounded by a lot of people who are also in a black suit or dress. Although Alex Winter was surrounded by people, he’d never felt alone as much as he did now. He was fixated on just two people in the room full of about twenty to twenty five people approximately. Whoever it was, Alex clearly wasn’t happy that they were there. In fact he was wondering why anyone but he was there. No one cared about Jessica as much as he did. You might be able to argue that her girlfriend Monica did, but right now all Alex cared about was himself, but most of all Jessica Winter.
“SILENCE!!!”
Alex Winter had, had enough and his clear sorrow had now become pure hate and anger. Everyone in the room shuts up instantly, looking at Alex surprised by his sudden outburst and all eyes were on him now.
“I don’t even know why any of you are here. None of you care about Jessica, not like I do. My sister was everything you lot are not, and that’s perfection. Just one smile from my sister would light up this room. As I look around the room, I see smiles but none of them light up this room. You are all fakes, the only reason you are here isn’t for Jessica but to save face with them two hypocrites over there.”
Pointing over at the two people in question, instantly the color drained from the woman and man who looked back at him.
“You call yourselves parents. Since the day Jessica come out as a lesbian, you lost all interest in her. Just like you lost interest in me for standing by her decision and supporting her. Mum, dad, why would you do that? Why treat your daughter like that? Hell, why treat me like it too? I made a promise to Jessica that I'd stand up to what I believe in and right now that’s what I am doing. You always saw Jessica as an embarrassment but the only embarrassment is you mum and dad. Look around you, these people here don’t care about Jessica. They just care about looking good and being in your good books. Mum, dad, where were you? You used to be the best parents ever, USE TO BE!!!”
Tears escaped from Alex Winter’s eyes followed by his fist meeting the wall. His hand hurt so much right now, but he was going to channel that into his venomous words right now.
“I sat there gut-wrenching sobs tearing through my chest, as Jessica died in my arms. I was always there for Jessica, no of you were so why are you here now?
That’s right, you are here because it’s all about an image thing with you lot. It doesn’t matter to any of you here that Jessica is gone. Mum, dad you may have paid for everything but why was that?
YOUR DAMN IMAGE!!!”
Alex was so angry right now and the last thing he needed was anyone to talk to him or approach him.
“Back the fuck off!!” Alex picked up a glass from beside him.
“One step further and this glass goes in your face. You will all shut up and stay where you are until I say I’m done. Every single one of you in this room disgust me. I’m a sixteen year old boy whose more man then any of you so called men in here. As for the women, you disgust me even more. Why… Just why do you not stick together? Mum, maybe if you’d just shown your daughter the acceptance you do to all your friends, then maybe she’d still be here.
As for you, yes you dad!!!
You don’t deserve to be breathing right now. That should’ve been you getting buried. You are a snake and your venomous words nearly broke Jessica, but I was there to make sure that didn’t happen. None of you should’ve been at the funeral and none of you should be here now at the wake. All you are doing is smiling and laughing amongst one another and I find it damn right disrespectful. Today is about Jessica, not about any single one of you here in this room or anyone outside of it.”
No one knew where to look, whether they should move or even if they should sneeze. They could see Alex was enraged, that he had the glass still in his hand and a fire had been awoken inside of him.
“Look at all of you nauseating vermin. You all make me skin crawl. I’m not only going to make all of your lives hell, but anyone and everyone who gets in my way. Jessica had to suffer and died knowing that her own parents couldn’t accept her. That’s the most distasteful thing ever. I will not stand for this anymore and I definitely won’t stand for any of you being here.
GO… FUCK OFF!!!”
With that said, Alex throws the glass in his hand against the wall. Shattered glass rained down upon all of them as Alex held his arms out wide with a sadistic smirk upon his face.
“Now the cleansing has started, anyone not out of here before I’ve drunk this half of soda in my glass, you will face my wrath. You thought my words were bad, just you wait until the reckoning begins.”
Picking the glass up, Alex has a sinister smirk upon his face as the room turns into sheer panic. Alex may only be a sixteen year old boy, but if you could see what they were seeing, you’d panic too. It was like something from a lemmings game as they fought through the obstacle of chairs to get to their designated exit.
The room was clear, Alex was all alone as he stood there with an egotistical smirk upon his face. Today marked the day, the day Alex Winter had been awakened.
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There was nothing fancy about what we were seeing right now. All that could be seen was a spotlight shining onto a chair. The chair was nothing special too, just an ordinary run of the mill wooden chair. Footsteps can be heard slowly getting closer and closer to the wooden chair. The footsteps stop, still the only thing being able to be seen is the wooden chair.
“Someone once told me good things are going to happen.”
We can now see Alex Winter as he walks into the spotlight and sits on the wooden chair.
“Good things really are going to happen. At We Are Relentless, I’m going to win. You see, Steve Matthews made the mistake of letting me choose what match we’d have.” Alex has a smug look on his face.
“I know your weakness Matthews, maybe I’ll exploit it at WAR or maybe I won’t. Either way I will be walking out victorious. You see, the world has taken enough from me and now it’s my turn to start taking things. Whether it be your pride, your honor or your career. Winter is coming, and trust me, it’s going to be the coldest, most deadliest Winter any of you have seen or experienced. I’ve been awoken, I will not accept losing to you Matthews and I will do whatever it takes to make sure I don’t.
Fuck Steve Matthews, he deserves everything that his got coming and he has a lot of suffering coming his way. That goes for everyone, you’ll either with me or against me and if you are against me, then I’m sorry but that suffering is heading your way too.”
Alex starts shaking his head. “Actually, I’m not sorry at all, I’m going to enjoy every moment of making everyone suffer, starting with Steve Matthews first. I’m going to show everyone what I’m really capable of doing. There will be no more holding back, just know that I will do whatever it takes to make Matthews say I Quit.
I will make Carnage and the rest of the world take notice of what I do to Matthews. I’m a divine being, an all-powerful creator. The I Quit Match is a perfect example to prove why I’m a creator of pain and torture and that I’ll be the destroyer of dreams too. It’s no secret that everyone is dreaming that Steve Matthews will win and it’s just that, a dream. A dream that I look forward to destroying just as much as destroying Matthews.”
Alex grins from ear to ear. “I will not Quit but I will spit, isn’t that right Matthews? You see, I don’t care about morals or what I have to do to get what I want. Whether it be beating that last breath out of you or choking it out of you. It doesn’t matter how I win the match, just that I do win the match. Stevey boy, you may claim to be “The Technical Master” but you are going to see what a real master is capable at WAR. I am “The Wild Card” Alex Winter, so anything you can do, I can do better.
I’m so glad that the I Quit Match is Ultraviolent Rules because the things I’m going to do to you Matthews are going to cause nightmares. I’d warn parents not to let their kids watch but I want them to. I want to be the reason they’re crying because I’ve decimated Steve Matthews. I want to be the reason they can’t sleep at night because of the sheer terror and violence. I’m not anyone’s hero and I sure as hell don’t want to be either. I’m the baddest motherfucker in Carnage and that will be clear to see at WAR. The I Quit Match will not be for the faint hearted, but if your dad, grandpa or whoever else is a bitch with a weak heart needs a helping hand… Let them watch, let me shock them so bad they shit their pants and have a heart attack. You see, I don’t care. Please do invite me to see them in their hospital bed though, not to apologize, but to laugh in their face.”
Getting to his fight, Alex walks around and stands behind the chair.
“No matter what you say Matthews you are not ready for what is going to happen to you at WAR. In fact no one is ready for what is going to happen to you. After this match I will be recognized as “Carnage Wrestling’s Resident Bastard” and it’s something I’ll be proud of too. I’m not only going to beat you Matthews, I’m going to toy with you. My submission knowledge is the best in the world and you’ll find that out. I’m going to hurt you so bad Matthews that by the time I’m done with you, you are going to wish you never fucked with me. From day one I’ve proved that I don’t care who likes me and who doesn’t, but all I’ve seen from you Matthews is brown nosing. You keep puckering those lips of yours up and kissing ass. It isn’t going to save you when you step in that ring with me, nothing can save you now.
I’m the only one in this match that matters, the only one who is always going to matter too. WAR is the battlefield where “Carnage Wrestling’s Bastard” stands tall. Where I show all those haters that if they have a problem with me, they’re in for a world of hurt. The I Quit Match will be remembered as the day where Alex Winter wasn’t only victorious but where he shuts Steve Matthews up once and for all. No matter what you do Matthews, no matter where you go, all you are going to think of is Alex Winter. I’m going to be in your everyday thoughts. If Jessica Green comes anywhere near that ring, I have a steel chair ready to be splattered with her blood on.”
The menacing sound of Alex Winter laughing can be heard as he picks the wooden chair up. Without warning, Alex swings the wooden chair smashing it into a million or so pieces as it hits the wall.
“I’m not messing about here Matthews. I swear if Jessica even comes within sight of our match, it won’t be only your blood I’ll be proudly wearing as armour in our battle. I’m not a nice man, being nice gets you nowhere in life. The sooner you and all the other idiots who believe it does realize the better for you. I’m looking forward to you trying to hit me with “The Perfect Hit” because as soon as you try, I’ll catch that leg of yours and snap it into fucking pieces. That’s such a dumb name for a move too but that doesn’t surprise me with you. All these quotes and insults you copy from Google to post on Twitter don’t fool me at all.
Let’s just say that “The Last Act” in this match will be you saying “I Quit” and trust me, “The Extreme Dream” you have of not saying it will be destroyed by me. While I’m at it, after this match all “The Royal Flush” will stand for is your career flushing down the toilet thanks to the downward spiral of you quitting.”
Alex starts to walk out of the spotlight but stops and turns around walking back into it.
“The last words I have are for Jon Willis. I’m not bothered about how good you think I am or not, I already know how awesome I am. Also I don’t know what parties you go to dude, but if they involve drugs, it explains a lot looking at you. One more thing before I leave, have a beer on me and hope you choke on that before I’m the one choking you out.”
Picking something up from the darkness, Alex stares coldly with no other emotions at all. The last thing we see is a metal pipe that he’d picked up from the darkness hitting the spotlight causing nothing but darkness.