Post by The Avenger on Jan 23, 2021 14:48:24 GMT -5
OOC: In 2017, The Avenger competed in Lion's Road, a microfed, before I missed a deadline and found my account deleted without warning. Anyway, because I like some of the stuff I did, I rescued the RPs and collected them here.
Ch. 1: Literally Made of Lasers
"It's a very cold road to travel on when you're a wrestling superhero. Even the lion's road is cold, which is weird because lions have all that fur."
"Yo, Avenger, what are you talking about?"
It's a lazy Sunday morning when The Avenger learns who his first Lion's Road is going to be. He's taken a break from heroism as two of his companions are off tracking down a lead. For now, it's just Avenger and hisbest friend (in his mind, anyway) Sam Action. As far as anyone knows Avenger met Sam at Comic-Con. Only they know where they really met and what their mission entails. But here on Earth #616, they don't believe in multiverses or jobbers threatening the fabric of reality by winning world titles.
"I was narrating. I got a match on Mane Event and I need to be ready."
"In that case, we should have opened with something a little stronger, my man."
"Like what?"
"Remember when you met me?"
Avenger looks to the sky, contemplating. He has a wistful look on his face.
"Yeah, that was AWESOME. There were flames and I'm pretty sure an funny rip-off of the Shaft theme."
"Who's Shaft?"
"One bad mother....you know what? I don't think you need to know. What's your point?"
"My point is...instead of opening your first big hype video with us talking, you should have opened on an adventure."
"I should have told the story of the laser hallway! It was LITERALLY MADE OF LASERS."
"That would have been a good start, yeah. Listen, are you going to be long? I want to go to the library and find out who Shaft is."
"Better the library than Google. I'll be a couple of minutes."
Sam Action leaves the general vicinity of the hotel lobby in Milwaukee where they're preparing for Avenger's debut tomorrow night. He's been plying his trade in Carnage Wrestling, but he's hoping to expand his heroic adventures in other locations. He sits for a minute, then looks up, noticing the camera in his smartphone has been recording everything. He sighs and turns toward it, adjusting his cape. Yes, he's wearing a cape and mask in the middle of a Holiday Inn Express hallway. Don't judge him. You've got weird tastes too.
"Well, you guys caught me. I wanted to do this big noir speech about how I'm coming into this dirty, grungy world of competition where the good have to break bad and the bad have to call Saul, but that's just not who I am. I'm a good guy and I do good things. Sometimes I'll kick a guy in the mouth, but that's when I'm dispensing JUSTICE! And yeah, if this were text, that would be all caps because JUSTICE requires excitement."
He runs a hand through his long black hair, moving it out of his eyes, and continues.
"The truth is, I may not be cut out for the super serious world of Lion's Road. Maybe you guys take things a little too seriously here and I'm not dark enough or too childish to compete. But hey, we never got anywhere by not trying, right? That's what my buddy Sam has been telling me. Everything looks stormy if you've got a negative outlook, but being a hero is about shining some sunlight on everyone else. And if there's a guy that could use some sun, it's probably my opponent at Mane Event. Heh. Mane. I see what you did there, LION'S road!"
He chuckles to himself and realizing he's losing his point, shakes his head and continues.
"Mark Storm's a gloomy Gus if I ever saw one. There's no room for that in my sunny day. I've come to Lion's Road to compete with the best the greater Wisconsin area has to offer! And maybe some parts of Upper Illinois! I won't judge! If Mark Storm's that, then I guess I have to beat him. After all, he's just a disturbed state of an environment or astronomical body's atmosphere especially affecting its surface, strongly implying severe weather."
"That's right, I just DICTIONARIED you! And I'm going to do more than that tomorrow night when you lose to JUSTICE! See you later, Gus!"
The Avenger gets up and leaves the area, presumably to find Sam. The camera remains where it is, filming. Suddenly we hear hurried footsteps and Avenger is back in front of it. He reaches forward, mutters something about "being forgetful" and the video feed shuts off.
Ch. 2: An Appropriate Segue
"I can't believe it! I actually won in my debut!"
You would think this would be moments after the fact, but instead, Avenger is once again documenting his life and it's days later.
"Look man, I know. I was there. I saw it. That was last week!"
"Yeah but, I pinned him! I know I said I was going to..."
The Avenger and Sam Action are in a stairwell in some unknown location, once again hanging out. Avenger is pacing with excitement at the top of the stairs while Sam is sitting, browsing through a smartphone's photos in the middle. Sam seems bored, as touring the upper midwest with a professional wrestler isn't his idea of a good time. But that was the plan. They stuck around Earth #616 and looked for their nemesis while the other two took care of things in the universe they left. They had it on good authority this world was in danger, and this was the only way. They were the only two that fit here.
"I wonder where those other two guys are. It's been a while since they left us here."
"Well they didn't need us. Fat Me is the science one and CJ Me is the dark, brooding one."
"I'm not sure what brooding is necessary for."
"Ask the people at Lion's Road. It seems like that's all they have on the roster."
"You mean like Alex Kincaid?"
"What an appropriate segue! Yes, that's exactly who I mean."
He hops down to where Sam is, but his feet slip and his arms start pinwheeling as he tries to regain his balance. His agility doesn't appear to be the best today. Sam places a hand on his friend's back to steady him and Avenger sits down next to him.
"Well man, the camera's there. Let 'em know how you feel. I'll be here chillin'.
Avenger looks up at the makeshift camera, at the bottom of the steps, hoping he's properly in frame. In fact, the people watching at home can now only see his legs, as he underestimated the viewing range of the phone's camera. Or he forgot to zoom out. He'll find out later.
"You can do a lot in ten minutes! I'm going to have a match with Alex Kincaid in ten minutes. Sam Action here can get any woman, or man...I'm not sure what he likes..."
Sam gives a noncommittal shrug, wanting to stay out of it.
"...in ten minutes. Meanwhile, Alex Kincaid used his ten minutes to whine about how things aren't going well for him in Lion's Road. Look man, I get it. I'm not exactly the wrestler with the most wins, even if I did deliver some epic JUSTICE to Mark Storm. I superhero landed all over his face!"
There's a chuckle from next to him, but he ignores it.
"But you're mad at the circumstances of your life and you're not doing anything about it! You're venting in a wrestling promo! Why do we fall? To pick ourselves back up! So that's what you need to do! Get back on that horse and ride it! There's plenty of fish in the sea!"
"Wrong cliche for this subject, my man."
"Right, right. I think I got off point. I know that it may seem stupid of me to encourage you to succeed when we're going to be fighting soon, but that's the kind of guy I am. I'm a hero! You might say I'm pretty super at the job. I want you to be the best Alex Kincaid you can be. Even after I beat you, that Alex Kincaid can be a guy who gets things done and makes himself a star! But, I mean, only after I beat you. I'm feeling pretty confident about my chances. Did you see the way I flew around last week? It was great! And then I superhero kicked Mark Storm right in the head, he didn't even see it coming! And also..."
Suddenly, a door opens at the bottom of the stairs where the two are sitting. A fat man and a tall, lanky man with long hair, both at least dressed the same as our hero, step through and see us. It's likely whoever they passed in the hallway is laughing at the absurdity of their appearance.
"There they are, CJ!"
"About damn time."
"What are YOU guys doing here?
"We've defused the bomb! It's safe to come back on the adventure now!"
Ch. 3: Racecars, Lasers, Aeroplanes
It has been a week or so since The Avenger's second win in Lion's Road and even longer since his group of superhero friends took off to "continue the adventure." And yet there's been one question on our favorite superhero's mind ever since that day. As he sits in the back seat of a car, traveling the highways of America, the question returns to him.
"Why aren't we using the multiversal remote to get to Marquette?"
The larger man, who is dressed just like Avenger, looks up in the mirror. Sam Action is in the back with Avenger and the lanky one, dressed in a darker variant of Avenger's suit, is riding shotgun.
"It's for traveling between dimensions, not teleporting to your wrestling shows."
"But it always takes us to a different location!"
"Don't ask me to explain science to you!"
"I can understand science! I got a B on a chemistry test once, you know!"
"In my universe, I got an A+ on the same test. So shut it."
He sits back in his seat, looking at his smartphone and grumbling. Sam looks over at him, confused.
"What's the problem, my man?"
"I don't think Fat Me..."
"I can literally still hear you!"
"...likes the fact I'm wrestling for Lion's Road."
"Well, I mean, we are on a mission to save the multiverse."
"I know that. But how can I beat that Tipfly loser if I'm not in shape. I'm not about to commit vehicular manslaughter."
"Wait, what?"
"Oh that's how the Tipfly in this universe died. Another wrestler ran him over. Somehow got away with it."
"Yeah, what he said."
Sam Action ponders this, seemingly shocked that death entered the equation. Whatever happens wherever he's from, he doesn't seem to see a lot of tragic circumstances. The larger man up front speaks before anything else can be said from the back.
"I'm still going to wrestle. I think we just need to recruit more Avengers. Wasn't that the original mission? So what's stopping us? It's not like we're being blocked by any sort of limit that would prevent us from continuing this story in the manner we see fit!"
"Let's just focus on your match tomorrow. Isn't that camera of yours on?"
"It's always on."
Avenger turns the camera around so it's facing him and the wide, open road moving past him in the back window. He looks tired, as if he's been traveling for some time.
"I don't know what else I need to say or do to get you guys to accept me. Every message to me has been the same so far."
He grunts his next words, doing an impression of literally anyone, but possibly his opponent Graham Gosch.
"'Me no like guy in cape! He think he hero! Me be villain and stomp him.'"
Avenger then coughs, as the grunting irritates his throat.
"But so far I'm undefeated! I beat two guys! How many guys have you beat, Mr. Graham Gosch? Whether you believe I'm a superhero or not...and I am...I clearly have the skills to win. You're saying the exact same thing that Mark Storm said and I superhero kicked him in the head. Alex Kincaid was nicer but he was still dismissive. He got beat too. It seems like just because I like to have fun, and I like to dress up a bit, people keep looking past me."
While he sounds mad, his face doesn't show it. It seems incredulous, as if he's fighting the urge to laugh from shock.
"You wouldn't be a supervillain anyway. You're more like the dumb brute that the supervillain hires to stop the hero, but gets beat in a single panel. Maybe two. 'Duhhh, right away bawss.' What I'm saying is that if this were DuckTales, you'd be a member of the Beagle Boys instead of Glumgold. I don't think you could pull off that kilt anyway. Speaking of...did you guys see the new DuckTales?"
"There's a new DuckTales?"
"Heck yeah! Hang on, let me finish this and we can find it on Youtube. Graham Gosch, you don't have any original material, you're a jock with a massive ego and I'm going to beat you tomorrow night. I'm a superhero and we aren't bested by the power of dumb."
Avenger places the camera down in the seat, with the lens facing the back and blackening our view. While we can no longer see anything, suddenly we hear a familiar theme song...
Ch. 1: Literally Made of Lasers
"It's a very cold road to travel on when you're a wrestling superhero. Even the lion's road is cold, which is weird because lions have all that fur."
"Yo, Avenger, what are you talking about?"
It's a lazy Sunday morning when The Avenger learns who his first Lion's Road is going to be. He's taken a break from heroism as two of his companions are off tracking down a lead. For now, it's just Avenger and hisbest friend (in his mind, anyway) Sam Action. As far as anyone knows Avenger met Sam at Comic-Con. Only they know where they really met and what their mission entails. But here on Earth #616, they don't believe in multiverses or jobbers threatening the fabric of reality by winning world titles.
"I was narrating. I got a match on Mane Event and I need to be ready."
"In that case, we should have opened with something a little stronger, my man."
"Like what?"
"Remember when you met me?"
Avenger looks to the sky, contemplating. He has a wistful look on his face.
"Yeah, that was AWESOME. There were flames and I'm pretty sure an funny rip-off of the Shaft theme."
"Who's Shaft?"
"One bad mother....you know what? I don't think you need to know. What's your point?"
"My point is...instead of opening your first big hype video with us talking, you should have opened on an adventure."
"I should have told the story of the laser hallway! It was LITERALLY MADE OF LASERS."
"That would have been a good start, yeah. Listen, are you going to be long? I want to go to the library and find out who Shaft is."
"Better the library than Google. I'll be a couple of minutes."
Sam Action leaves the general vicinity of the hotel lobby in Milwaukee where they're preparing for Avenger's debut tomorrow night. He's been plying his trade in Carnage Wrestling, but he's hoping to expand his heroic adventures in other locations. He sits for a minute, then looks up, noticing the camera in his smartphone has been recording everything. He sighs and turns toward it, adjusting his cape. Yes, he's wearing a cape and mask in the middle of a Holiday Inn Express hallway. Don't judge him. You've got weird tastes too.
"Well, you guys caught me. I wanted to do this big noir speech about how I'm coming into this dirty, grungy world of competition where the good have to break bad and the bad have to call Saul, but that's just not who I am. I'm a good guy and I do good things. Sometimes I'll kick a guy in the mouth, but that's when I'm dispensing JUSTICE! And yeah, if this were text, that would be all caps because JUSTICE requires excitement."
He runs a hand through his long black hair, moving it out of his eyes, and continues.
"The truth is, I may not be cut out for the super serious world of Lion's Road. Maybe you guys take things a little too seriously here and I'm not dark enough or too childish to compete. But hey, we never got anywhere by not trying, right? That's what my buddy Sam has been telling me. Everything looks stormy if you've got a negative outlook, but being a hero is about shining some sunlight on everyone else. And if there's a guy that could use some sun, it's probably my opponent at Mane Event. Heh. Mane. I see what you did there, LION'S road!"
He chuckles to himself and realizing he's losing his point, shakes his head and continues.
"Mark Storm's a gloomy Gus if I ever saw one. There's no room for that in my sunny day. I've come to Lion's Road to compete with the best the greater Wisconsin area has to offer! And maybe some parts of Upper Illinois! I won't judge! If Mark Storm's that, then I guess I have to beat him. After all, he's just a disturbed state of an environment or astronomical body's atmosphere especially affecting its surface, strongly implying severe weather."
"That's right, I just DICTIONARIED you! And I'm going to do more than that tomorrow night when you lose to JUSTICE! See you later, Gus!"
The Avenger gets up and leaves the area, presumably to find Sam. The camera remains where it is, filming. Suddenly we hear hurried footsteps and Avenger is back in front of it. He reaches forward, mutters something about "being forgetful" and the video feed shuts off.
Ch. 2: An Appropriate Segue
"I can't believe it! I actually won in my debut!"
You would think this would be moments after the fact, but instead, Avenger is once again documenting his life and it's days later.
"Look man, I know. I was there. I saw it. That was last week!"
"Yeah but, I pinned him! I know I said I was going to..."
The Avenger and Sam Action are in a stairwell in some unknown location, once again hanging out. Avenger is pacing with excitement at the top of the stairs while Sam is sitting, browsing through a smartphone's photos in the middle. Sam seems bored, as touring the upper midwest with a professional wrestler isn't his idea of a good time. But that was the plan. They stuck around Earth #616 and looked for their nemesis while the other two took care of things in the universe they left. They had it on good authority this world was in danger, and this was the only way. They were the only two that fit here.
"I wonder where those other two guys are. It's been a while since they left us here."
"Well they didn't need us. Fat Me is the science one and CJ Me is the dark, brooding one."
"I'm not sure what brooding is necessary for."
"Ask the people at Lion's Road. It seems like that's all they have on the roster."
"You mean like Alex Kincaid?"
"What an appropriate segue! Yes, that's exactly who I mean."
He hops down to where Sam is, but his feet slip and his arms start pinwheeling as he tries to regain his balance. His agility doesn't appear to be the best today. Sam places a hand on his friend's back to steady him and Avenger sits down next to him.
"Well man, the camera's there. Let 'em know how you feel. I'll be here chillin'.
Avenger looks up at the makeshift camera, at the bottom of the steps, hoping he's properly in frame. In fact, the people watching at home can now only see his legs, as he underestimated the viewing range of the phone's camera. Or he forgot to zoom out. He'll find out later.
"You can do a lot in ten minutes! I'm going to have a match with Alex Kincaid in ten minutes. Sam Action here can get any woman, or man...I'm not sure what he likes..."
Sam gives a noncommittal shrug, wanting to stay out of it.
"...in ten minutes. Meanwhile, Alex Kincaid used his ten minutes to whine about how things aren't going well for him in Lion's Road. Look man, I get it. I'm not exactly the wrestler with the most wins, even if I did deliver some epic JUSTICE to Mark Storm. I superhero landed all over his face!"
There's a chuckle from next to him, but he ignores it.
"But you're mad at the circumstances of your life and you're not doing anything about it! You're venting in a wrestling promo! Why do we fall? To pick ourselves back up! So that's what you need to do! Get back on that horse and ride it! There's plenty of fish in the sea!"
"Wrong cliche for this subject, my man."
"Right, right. I think I got off point. I know that it may seem stupid of me to encourage you to succeed when we're going to be fighting soon, but that's the kind of guy I am. I'm a hero! You might say I'm pretty super at the job. I want you to be the best Alex Kincaid you can be. Even after I beat you, that Alex Kincaid can be a guy who gets things done and makes himself a star! But, I mean, only after I beat you. I'm feeling pretty confident about my chances. Did you see the way I flew around last week? It was great! And then I superhero kicked Mark Storm right in the head, he didn't even see it coming! And also..."
Suddenly, a door opens at the bottom of the stairs where the two are sitting. A fat man and a tall, lanky man with long hair, both at least dressed the same as our hero, step through and see us. It's likely whoever they passed in the hallway is laughing at the absurdity of their appearance.
"There they are, CJ!"
"About damn time."
"What are YOU guys doing here?
"We've defused the bomb! It's safe to come back on the adventure now!"
Ch. 3: Racecars, Lasers, Aeroplanes
It has been a week or so since The Avenger's second win in Lion's Road and even longer since his group of superhero friends took off to "continue the adventure." And yet there's been one question on our favorite superhero's mind ever since that day. As he sits in the back seat of a car, traveling the highways of America, the question returns to him.
"Why aren't we using the multiversal remote to get to Marquette?"
The larger man, who is dressed just like Avenger, looks up in the mirror. Sam Action is in the back with Avenger and the lanky one, dressed in a darker variant of Avenger's suit, is riding shotgun.
"It's for traveling between dimensions, not teleporting to your wrestling shows."
"But it always takes us to a different location!"
"Don't ask me to explain science to you!"
"I can understand science! I got a B on a chemistry test once, you know!"
"In my universe, I got an A+ on the same test. So shut it."
He sits back in his seat, looking at his smartphone and grumbling. Sam looks over at him, confused.
"What's the problem, my man?"
"I don't think Fat Me..."
"I can literally still hear you!"
"...likes the fact I'm wrestling for Lion's Road."
"Well, I mean, we are on a mission to save the multiverse."
"I know that. But how can I beat that Tipfly loser if I'm not in shape. I'm not about to commit vehicular manslaughter."
"Wait, what?"
"Oh that's how the Tipfly in this universe died. Another wrestler ran him over. Somehow got away with it."
"Yeah, what he said."
Sam Action ponders this, seemingly shocked that death entered the equation. Whatever happens wherever he's from, he doesn't seem to see a lot of tragic circumstances. The larger man up front speaks before anything else can be said from the back.
"I'm still going to wrestle. I think we just need to recruit more Avengers. Wasn't that the original mission? So what's stopping us? It's not like we're being blocked by any sort of limit that would prevent us from continuing this story in the manner we see fit!"
"Let's just focus on your match tomorrow. Isn't that camera of yours on?"
"It's always on."
Avenger turns the camera around so it's facing him and the wide, open road moving past him in the back window. He looks tired, as if he's been traveling for some time.
"I don't know what else I need to say or do to get you guys to accept me. Every message to me has been the same so far."
He grunts his next words, doing an impression of literally anyone, but possibly his opponent Graham Gosch.
"'Me no like guy in cape! He think he hero! Me be villain and stomp him.'"
Avenger then coughs, as the grunting irritates his throat.
"But so far I'm undefeated! I beat two guys! How many guys have you beat, Mr. Graham Gosch? Whether you believe I'm a superhero or not...and I am...I clearly have the skills to win. You're saying the exact same thing that Mark Storm said and I superhero kicked him in the head. Alex Kincaid was nicer but he was still dismissive. He got beat too. It seems like just because I like to have fun, and I like to dress up a bit, people keep looking past me."
While he sounds mad, his face doesn't show it. It seems incredulous, as if he's fighting the urge to laugh from shock.
"You wouldn't be a supervillain anyway. You're more like the dumb brute that the supervillain hires to stop the hero, but gets beat in a single panel. Maybe two. 'Duhhh, right away bawss.' What I'm saying is that if this were DuckTales, you'd be a member of the Beagle Boys instead of Glumgold. I don't think you could pull off that kilt anyway. Speaking of...did you guys see the new DuckTales?"
"There's a new DuckTales?"
"Heck yeah! Hang on, let me finish this and we can find it on Youtube. Graham Gosch, you don't have any original material, you're a jock with a massive ego and I'm going to beat you tomorrow night. I'm a superhero and we aren't bested by the power of dumb."
Avenger places the camera down in the seat, with the lens facing the back and blackening our view. While we can no longer see anything, suddenly we hear a familiar theme song...