Post by Steve Matthews on Sept 19, 2020 4:09:39 GMT -5
NO GOOD COMES FROM BEING A SPINELESS COWARD.
“I think the most tortured place in hell should be reserved not for traitors, but... for cowards. The weakest, most spineless losers. Because it seems to me that traitors? At least they made a choice. But cowards? They just run around biting their fingernails, totally afraid to do anything. Which is totally worse.” - Lauren Kate
“If we don't fight for what we 'stand for' with our passionate words and honest actions, do we really 'stand' for anything?” - Tiffany Madison
Not long after Chaos has ended we see Kylie Ford outside in the parking lot leaning on Steve Matthews dark blue Chevy Silverado, it’s safe to say she looks bored and pretty unimpressed. Kylie looks at her watch for what is likely not to have been the first time, after what probably feels like an eternity to her, Steve Matthews walks into shot carrying his sports bag. Kylie looks straight at him.
“You took your damn time.”
Steve smirks and launches his bag in the motor. “Can’t please a woman, they complain when you're quick, then bitch about you taking too long.”
Kylie turns slightly red at the awful joke. “What were you talking to Mac Bane for anyway? You have no history with him.”
“Whiskey and about Carnage needing higher standards in general. How the hell did you know that was Mac Bane anyway?” A quizzical look is obvious on Steve’s face.
Kylie sighs “I may be wrestling thick but I ain't thick in general, You gave me like twenty fucking hours of tapes to watch, I now know and dislike most of Carnage.”
Steve shrugs at the answer and his mouth turns up in a slight smirk, “Fair enough. Now on a different note altogether, did you get the copy of your contract like I told you to?”
In a somewhat authoritative manner Steve carries on, “Good, now let's get to your place and pick up literally all your stuff.”
Kylie looks puzzled, “What? Why?”
It’s now Steve’s turn to sigh, “Look, you’ve told me all about the awful conditions you live in and how you don’t feel safe around your landlord, so we’re getting your belongings and you are moving into an empty apartment of mine in Boston.”
Kylie looks stunned, “But…”
“But What? You’ll be safe, no longer living in a shit hole, plus I own the apartment next door, the person living there is a friend of mine called Jessica. It’ll be home in no time.”
Kylie now looks a mixture of stunned and taken aback, “Why are you doing this for me? No one has EVER done something like this for me.”
Steve smiles, “Despite popular belief, I’m not really a heartless bastard.”
With that Steve throws the keys of the Chevy to Kylie and walks round to the passenger side.
“Don’t bloody crash it.”
As Steve slides in the passenger side, Kylie takes a deep breath, “Thank You.”
Now a couple of days later the scene opens inside Steve Matthews home, Steve is nowhere to be seen but Kylie Ford is, wearing dark jeans and a white t-shirt. She is standing in the kitchen just staring out the window at basically nothing, she seems a little worried yet also deep in thought. After a few seconds of this shot… a loud bang is heard as a door shuts, this breaks her stare and makes her turn and walk to where it came from. She is met by Matthews who has a reasonably serious look on his face.
“Have you had a chance to read through my contract?” Kylie asks. Steve Nods.
“And?” To say the voice has a slightly nervous hint to it would be an understatement.
“Why didn't you read this? C$J pretty much owns you for the next six months.”
Kylie drops her head before responding, “I needed a job, and who really reads their work contracts?”
Steve lets out an exasperated sigh, “Everyone should, but they don’t, look, as much as C$J does somewhat own you. There are some positives I guess.”
“Like?” Kylie asks, raising an eyebrow and perking up slightly.
“The salary really ain’t that bad, you don’t have to do much work, and he can’t change your role within the company once assigning you to any position. So… this is it for the next five or six months.”
Kylie seems to drop her head, “Look, I didn’t want this, I’m sorry.”
Steve raises both eyebrows quickly then ever so slightly shakes his head from side to side, “It could be worse I suppose. As much as St. James does own you, what can he possibly force you to do in this role? He hasn’t done this to hurt you, he’s done this solely to get at me and I refuse to let him." Steve smiles, “I’ve put up with a lot of shit in this business and survived, so I’m sure I’ll survive your presence for a few months whether it suits me or not.”
Kylie actually chuckles, “Charming way of putting it.”
“Look, I’ll be sorting out something, call Jessica and plan somewhere for dinner, I’ll treat the three of us. Oh and make sure wherever you pick has a decent Whiskey… I need a damn drink!!”
“Ok” Responds a slightly more relieved sounding Kylie Ford.
Steve lightly smiles toward Kylie before turning to a sideboard and picking up a leather looking journal.
Steven Matthews Journal 17th September 2020
Perfectionism. We always want to make it “perfect.” The match, the promo, our careers. Or also a favourite: “first I have to be a perfect wrestler, then I can achieve something.” It's not that you shouldn’t invest time and energy in those things, but there is a fine line between being motivated to do your best and being kept from actually getting out there to create your opportunities.
I will never be perfect in everyone’s eyes. Some might like what I have to say and some might not. That’s a battle we all face and it’s a fantastic battle because it isn’t really a battle at all; it’s life. Kick perfectionism in the butt and start to focus on growth and learning instead.
The worst result of trying to get that opportunity is losing a wrestling match. But that's not the worst thing really. From experience, I’ve lost three in a row, it sucks. But it is not the end of the world. I will get over it and arise even stronger. Opportunity knocks for me right now.
Personal Opinion Vent.
Alex Winter. The guy is actually much more talented in the ring than he will ever get credit for, the attitude he makes us all deal with will forever mask that fact though. I hate the fact he walked away victorious in the I quit match but I don’t agree with the flack he has received for the way he won. It was an I quit match and I was never in a million years going to utter those words, in those circumstances he only had one way to win, he did it. Revenge will be sweet on the grade A prick when I use Section 2C.
Christopher St. James. As owners go, C$J is the biggest asshole I’ve ever had the misfortune to work for in this business. I know I’m on a long list of people that feel that way and I will hurt him eventually if someone else doesn’t beat me to it. He is a weasel and has about as many redeeming features as Alex Winter. In the land of the witless, C$J would definitely be king.
Adrienne Levi. I said it in a promo last week and I meant it, I firmly believe Levi has no idea how good she is. She’s competing for the Baltimore Title soon, but in no time at all, she’ll be after something bigger. Despite the fact I’ve only ever been on the other side of the ring as her, she’s one of the few in Carnage I actually think I could trust. Not convinced she would trust me quite as much in return however.
JC. Respect is a word thrown around a lot in the wrestling business, sometimes it means something, sometimes it means nothing, but I definitely respect JC more than most. He has had a career to be proud of and I’ll be forever grateful to have shared a ring with him, his boot fucking hurts though.
The Dragon Lady. Tough as nails and hates Alex Winter, I’m convinced she will do brilliantly in Carnage. Pretty sure we will be fighting many of the same battles, she will be a strong ally. I believe she will come out second best against Levi but solely due to how good Levi is.
Matt Knox. Tough son of a bitch and has a mouth that just never stops, he’s actually somewhat refreshing to me though because he genuinely backs up his words with actions, something like that is much rarer than it should be in professional wrestling. Similar to Levi, I would trust him but not convinced he trusts me. Would happily and respectfully share a ring with Knox at any time, in fact along with Mac Bane, he’s possibly the guy I’d most want standing next to me in battle.
Eli Goode. Spineless Bastard.
South Boston Waterfront. Boston, Massachusetts.
A wobbly wooden railing is the only thing that separates him from the fury of Mother Nature's fists as they slam against the wall. He leans over it. The rain has reduced to a drizzle now, a nuisance in the howling and swirling winds of the coast. Even in the dead of summer, it is cool here. Matthews wears a leather jacket, water drips off the jacket, and collects on the cuffs of his jeans and under his sneakers. The torrid wind whips Matthews wild locks in a fury around his head, to the point where he pulls a beaten Charlton Athletic cap from his pocket and pulls the brim down low over his bloodshot, blue-grey eyes.
“The number of times when I've been truly angry in my life... I can probably count them on one hand. My job, sometimes it calls for me to exaggerate my feelings or to 'play up' my emotions. So I turn frustration into anger. I turn disenfranchisement into ire. I turn dissatisfaction into rage. Then I try to turn anger, ire and rage into victory.”
“But I can't really remember the last time the match results really meant something. For most people that becomes a problem. They either drive themselves to insanity trying to figure out where their winning touch has gone because there's no love left for the business. No love left for the sport. The others, they wall into fits of self-loathing and disenfranchisement. How's the saying go? 'Pin me. Pay me.'”
Matthews blinks against the splash of a large wave that sends a small blast of salt-water up into his face. He makes no attempt to brush it aside, instead letting it run down his chin and drip off the expanding patch of stubble along his jaw.
“It's not ego to say that I'm different. I've made no bones about telling everyone that my motivations are to be a better man and win championship gold along the way.”
His eyes fall to dark grey waves that crash against the rocks far below his feet.
“Standing in the way right now of me achieving those goals is Eli Goode. Now, in recent times I’ve faced the likes of JC, Dragon Lady, and Adrienne Levi. When facing them I was respectful and even bordering on nice at times, don’t expect the same, Eli. You need to ready yourself because I don’t respect you as I do them, in fact, I’m going to be the one that tells you right now, what everyone else around Carnage is thinking.”
Matthews takes a deep breath of the sea air before raising his eyes again.
“Eli Goode, former Carnage Wrestling Baltimore Champion.”
“Eli Goode, former Carnage Wrestling UltraViolent Champion.”
“Eli Goode, former Carnage Wrestling Tag Team Champion.”
“Eli Goode, former rookie of the year.”
Matthews shakes his head from side to side slightly.
“Eli, that history is fantastic but that's not you anymore is it? It means nothing, you are a rambling idiot who has been bypassed by literally everyone, Your mental state is clearly flawed, you have shown yourself to have lost your fucking balls, I beg of you to either find them or grow a new set before we wrestle because you should be too talented to become this afterthought you are turning into, you have the history of a hall of famer but with this current trajectory the future of a snivelling unwanted bitch.”
“You may feel it shows something to be angry, Eli, you took your anger out on a damn photo, it’s pathetic, the men and women that wronged you are not hard to find in the flesh. Your response to everything lately has been almost as cowardly as an Alex Winter response to a direct challenge from yours truly.”
“The current version of you is a disgrace to Carnage wrestling, as for admitting you competed at ninety percent effort and thought it would be enough, that is unforgivable and as dis-respectful as anything anyone has ever done to you in this business. Until that gets addressed and you offer the apology Adrienne Levi mainly but the roster as a whole all deserve, you have to accept that by turning your back on being a DAMN professional you are no better than the so-called friends who turned their backs to you.”
“Ultimately those people used you and now they want to be at a level you don’t understand, can’t attain, can’t help them attain, or can’t be of use for. They have thrown you to the curb as the unneeded afterthought. Carnage was watching your response and it was fucking shameful Eli, with no heart shown, with no balls shown, with no fight shown, you have done nothing but prove them correct in doing so. You can’t even fight for you and do the right things to better Eli Goode, so what use would a snivelling bitch like that be to anyone in Carnage, carry on and drift away, or be a fucking man Eli!!”
“Based on these things you can shove the comment last week saying WE are both that damn Goode up your no longer relevant ass, we are not the same, you are not someone to be proudly associated with as proven by many before me, and you can be assured my idea of what constitutes good is far greater than yours.”
"I’ll give you credit for one thing though Eli, you haven't fully lost your sense of humour. Before our tag match, you talked about being a grand slam champion, as jokes go, thinking you can be World Champion in your current state is about as good a joke as I’ve heard for some time. I’d put money on literally anyone on the roster winning that big strap before you get even close.”
“Eli, I beg of you to look in a mirror and ask some questions, history shows you have something, but you need to fix currently being a pointless and forgettable piece of nothing.”
No smirk crosses his face. No grin, no smile, not even a curving side of the lip.
“I’m going to leave you with a quote Eli, I want you to seriously think about this, ‘All progress begins with the brave, not the spineless coward’".
Behind him, a large wave slams violently against the rocks below the wharf, the water from below stretches up and mixes with the water that falls from the black expanse of the heavens, thus ending the scene with the perfect shot. Well it would have been the perfect shot had Matthews not taken a swig from a silver hip flask as it was happening.
Post by Eli Goode on Sept 26, 2020 23:06:01 GMT -5
“Anger doesn’t solve anything. It builds nothing, but it can destroy everything.” “No beast is more savage than man when possessed with power answerable to his rage.” - Plutarch “Great anger is more destructive than the sword.”
OFF-CAMERA Eli’s Apartment Baltimore, MD September 17, 2020 8:40pm
Quick breaths come from the bedroom. Jude slowly walks into the room looking at Eli Goode. Eli performs push-ups trying to improve his body. The sweat rolls off of his body as he imagines his previous two matches. Two losses. Losses he knows that he could have prevented. However, his mind does not radiate anger. No, he only thinks about the future of his career. That has been something up for debate for a while. A big push by C$J has been about the new stars. Carnage Wrestling has been promoting the new stars of the company. At this point, he knows that he is a part of the old guard now. He is someone involved with Carnage’s past. It is something he is used to, but at the same time, it does not seem right.
The push-ups become more intense. He picks up the speed and looks ahead of him. He refuses to look at the ground. He looks ahead at the mirror. He sees his reflection. He sees the speed he is pushing his body to go. He struggles to push himself further, but he refuses to quit. His arms burn in pain, but he keeps going. He needs to keep going. If he stops, he considers himself a loser. He is not worthy of continuing if he quits. He would never be like Amber or Kyra or Jack. He would always be the lesser-being. His arms give out, and he falls to the floor. He lifts his arms fast enough to protect his nose.
He lays on the ground feeling the carpet beneath him. He takes in deep breaths trying to regain his composure. After a few minutes, he lifts his legs to push himself off of the floor. He sits up against a wall and slowly lifts his arms. They shake as he lifts them. The muscles could not continue at the pace he wanted and gave out on him. He pats the back of his head against the wall and groans in pain. He looks over to Jude who sits a few inches away from him. Eli closes his eyes and lifts his head to the ceiling. Jude slowly walks over and starts licking Eli’s arms. Eli looks back at Jude and smiles.
“I know bud, but I need to keep going. I can’t give up. What they’re saying on Twitter and in their fucking promos for the matches… It’s frustrating.”
Eli rests his arms on his knees. He tries to rest his head on his arms, but the pain is too much. He simply keeps his head up and looking over to Jude.
“I mean, they treat me like I… I’m the villain. Hell, JC can’t stop talking about the past. How I’m nothing more than some, some, crony. Adrienne talks as if I’m the Anti-Christ. I treated her with respect. I never purposefully disrespected her during any of my promos, but fuck me am I right? No matter what, people will always turn against you. People will always look at you as a monster even when you prove that you’re not a monster. It doesn’t matter to them.”
Jude pushes his head under Eli’s arm and rests his head on his chest. Eli lowers his legs and helps Jude have a more comfortable place to rest. He softly chuckles.
“But you know, it doesn’t matter. None of what they say matters. They just talk about what they feel like. Talk is the only thing they’re good at. Sure Adrienne beat me, but in the grand scheme of things, that doesn’t matter. None of them matter. Twitter is the only way for them to get their kicks. They just go on, spout nonsense, and go back to their miserable 2020 lives. They go onto Twitter to ignore their real problems and try to blame other people for their problems.”
He giggles to himself as he slowly rubs the back of Jude’s neck.
“Steve sent out this tweet that he wanted to irritate me, but no, I don’t irritate easily. He wanted me to be held to a higher standard. Wha-haha-what does that mean? What did I do in our previous match that caused him to attack me? I didn’t leave him. Sure, I was a little rough with one of my opponents. Sure, I nearly didn’t break the five count, but I certainly didn’t leave him alone. No, no, he’s wanting me to be held to a standard he can’t get to.”
He slowly stops rubbing Jude. Jude looks up, and Eli looks forward to the bed in a daze. He does not divert his gaze at all.
“But… what if they’re all right? What if I do need to clean up my act? What if I’m not the same person I was before? What if everything about me needs to be changed? Wha-Wha-Wha…”
He looks back into the mirror and sees flashes of some of his past matches. Matches where he stood tall. He stands above the likes of Pearl Attlee, Magdalena Lockhart, and even Jack Michaels. The one time Eli knew that he was truly going place. The one time that Eli knew that he was the future of the company, but it was all thrown away. All because he wanted to let his mentor get the praise. All because he thought his mentor deserved it. The one moment he could have fought for the World Championship, but he threw it away. Eli slowly stands up to his feet causing Jude to back away from him. Eli walks towards the mirror and holds the sides.
“You have done nothing but shown me what I could have been… You’ve never given me any true help. You’ve never truly shown me my accomplishments. You’re nothing but a shadow trying to run away from its host. Well, I’m not Peter Pan. I’m not letting you leave me. This… mirror has been your escape. Now, you’re stuck with me.”
He lifts the mirror and shatters it across the floor. The shards fall across the floor, and Jude backs away from Eli. Eli looks over to his bathroom and notices the mirror. He smiles and growls to himself. He walks into the bathroom and smashes that mirror as well. He walks back into the bedroom and searches for more mirrors. Within the next hour, he finds all of the mirrors in his apartment and smashes them. He stands in the center of his bedroom looking down at the shattered remains of all of his mirrors. In them, broken reflections of himself. He slowly bends down and lifts a shard. He smiles into it and rubs his finger against the surface.
“Now, you’re stuck with me… forever. No flying away now.”
He chuckles to himself as Jude hides in the kitchen trying to stay away from Eli. The chuckle gets a bit louder, and Jude whimpers in fear. This is not the owner he knows. This is something else. This is someone else.
“Well, well, well, these have been a few interesting weeks that have happened. I mean, I’ve been kind of on a losing streak as of late, but it appears that C$J has been giving me the benefit of the doubt. It’s like he wants me to be a success. I know that I’m not trying to let him down. I’d say that I’m trying my hardest in every match I’m in, but there have just been… obstacles in my way. Obstacles that I couldn’t avoid.
However, that’s the past now. Now, I have a chance to fight for the Chaos Championship. Which, if I win that belt, will get me one step closer to my Grand Slam Championship. I’ll be able to get the prize that no one else in Carnage history will ever be able to claim. Yes, I’ll be the one in the record books. I’ll be the top competitor in Carnage history, and no one else…
Alas, there is someone in my way though. Someone that I have to get through first before I can even fight for the Chaos Championship. This person was my partner last Chaos. We two forces that didn’t seem to agree with each other on a few things, but that’s in the past now. My obstacle this week is Steve Matthews.
Steve, I tried to win last week, but it was you that cost us the win. It was you that got pinned. You were the one that ultimately got defeated, and not me. You know, I’ve been silently watching Twitter. I’ve been watching what people have said about me, and you were the one that annoyed me the most. Adrienne can keep talking her bullshit. I don’t care about her. You were the one that stuck out like a sore thumb.
To quote you, Steve, I needed to be ‘accountable and held to a hashtag higher standard.’ What does that mean? What does that honestly mean? I didn’t lose. You did. I didn’t do anything that would’ve provoked you to say that. What, are you pissed that I held onto Adrienne for too long? Are you upset that I wanted to make sure she was out of the way for us to win? If that is the case, I am sorry. I’m sorry that I tried to help us win. I’m sorry that I wanted to make sure that a nuisance was out of our way. You treat the world as if it has to be fair. I’m sorry but the world isn’t fair. In Carnage Wrestling, you need to do whatever you can to get the win, and that’s what I was doing.
Now, I understand that I could’ve been disqualified, but I honestly don’t care about the Baltimore City Championship. Hell, if we would’ve won, I would have given up my shot at Chaos. I didn’t want to fight for that title. I want to fight for the World Championship, but Ken’s a little bit busy with Jack at the moment. So I went with the next best thing. I’m gunning for the Chaos Championship.
Yep, I’m just inching my way closer to the Grand Slam Championship. The only honor that no one else in Carnage has held, but you know that. I just said moments ago. But why is it so important to me? Why is it something I want? Why do I need to be the FIRST Grand Slam Champion? I mean, I think it’s pretty simple. When you look in the history books, my name will be at the top. It’ll say, ‘First-Ever Grand Slam Champion: Eli Goode.’ It’ll be above all of the titles. My name will be forever cemented in Carnage’s history, and that’s something that I can’t say about the other companies I’ve worked at.
You see Steve, this company has been the place where I’ve cemented a legacy that I’ve been unable to do in other companies. In those companies, I’ve been a joke. I’ve been an outcast. This one, right here, has been the place where I’ve proven people wrong. Now, people like Matt Knox aren’t new to me. No, he can go on Twitter all day and tweet about how rubbish I am. He can tweet about how I should rename myself as ‘Who.’ He’s not the first person to ever say that about me, and he definitely won’t be the last. I know what I’m capable of, and right now Steve, you’re in the way.
Steve, I don’t care about your abilities in the ring. I don’t care if you’re the greatest tactician in Carnage. Hell, I don’t even care if you think of yourself as the ace-in-the-hole. All I know is that come Chaos 99 I’m going to be ready for whatever you have to throw at me. Chaos 99 is going to be my show, and not yours. I’m going to beat you by whatever means necessary, and you’ll go on Twitter and complain about it. You’ll talk about how ‘not so goode’ I am, and I’ll ignore it. I’ll ignore you, Adrienne, Matt, and any other fucking person who thinks it’s their place to insult me.
Steve, you’re a great competitor, but you’re not better than me. You’re going to be fighting against someone that has a plan. A plan that involves walking into Chaos 100 fighting for the Chaos Championship. Let everyone know how much this matters to you. Let your family members know that you’re going up against some no-good bastard. I don’t fucking care about what you think of me. You tweet; I ignore. Because your tweets are insignificant to my ultimate plan.
At the end of Chaos 99, I’m going to be walking out as the number one contender for the Chaos Championship. You don’t have a chance in hell against me. I’m simply… That Damn Goode!”